I'm In Love with My Mom's Man

Dear WISY,

This is awful and I know it but sometimes loves drives us to do the unthinkable.  I have been in a secret relationship with my mother’s boyfriend for the past two years.  She thinks he’s still around because he loves her but in fact it is me that he loves and I love him.  When she is away for work, he and I have the most fun in the house and do whatever we want, wherever we want to do it.  It’s exciting and now I want to have him all to myself.  I can’t stand it when he is locked away in her room for hours.  I hate that he sleeps with her at night and I hate that he kisses her in front of me.

I am willing to risk the relationship with my mother for this man.  He is just that great but I know how heart broken she will be and I can’t live with that.  If she didn’t love him the way she does, I would take him but she is truly in love and I know how damaged she would be if I took him.

I’m ready to move out to try to keep my mind off of him and when I expressed this to him, he threatened me and said I could never leave him.

What should I do?

Signed,

In Love with Mamma's Man

My Friend Is Secretly Jealous of Me

Dear WISY,

How do you deal with a friend you know is jealous of you but insists on hanging around you and pretending to like you?  I ask because I have a person who I thought was a friend who I’ve recently found out has been secretly glorifying any obstacles or downfalls I have and I can’t figure out why she would be this way after all I’ve done for her.  I genuinely care for this girl and only want the best for her but she is talking about me and everything I have confided in her about secretly with a mutual friend.  

I just can’t get over how good of an actress she is.  This girl hugs and speaks to me as if I’m her only loved one on earth, she acts as if I am the person she adores the most in this world and I feel the same about her.  I’m very confused by her though.  Please tell me how I should deal with her.

Signed,
She's Jealous of Me

My Child Is Deaf and My Man Is Mad

Dear WISY,

I hope you will post this to your blog and give me some sound advice about my situation.  Last year, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.  Her father and I were very excited about her birth and prepared like excited first time parents should.  Everything was perfect until she entered the world.  She was born deaf and my boyfriend has since changed his attitude towards me and sadly towards her also.  He said that there was something wrong with me and that’s why our baby came out with a defect.  He is really upset with me and barely speaks to me anymore.  He has a hard time being around our daughter.  He seems upset and frustrated all the time.  It’s so bad that I am afraid to leave her alone with him out of fear of what he might do.  

I am to the point where I have had enough and want to leave the relationship.  I don’t want my daughter to grow with a father who doesn’t love her because she is deaf.  My daughter thrives in every aspect of life and I know her deafness will not hinder her from becoming a model citizen.  I know you are probably saying that I know what I need to do and I should leave but when I thought of my future as a child, I never thought of having multiple fathers for my children and I am ready for another baby.  He is also willing to try again for a baby with zero issues.  What do you think I should do?

Signed,

Mother of a Deaf Child

Not Who I Used to Be

Dear WISY,

Growing up, I was the ugly duckling.  I used to cry when the children teased me and said I looked ugly.  I didn’t want to go to school or anything.  It was constant teasing on a daily basis.  I would even hear teachers make comments about my looks when I walked by.  I became a very depressed child and I was suicidal at one point.  You can’t imagine the pain I went through.  It was terrible.

Today, I am a very attractive woman.  Men throw themselves at me and I can’t walk down the street without turning heads.  I think I have finally found the man of my dreams and he wants to get married and have a family.  I should be very happy but I am holding sadness inside.  In my late teen years and early twenties, I underwent a lot of plastic surgery.   I’ve had cheek and chin implants, a nose job, botox, lip injections, tucked my ears back and had a breast augmentation.  I look nothing like how I looked when I was a child and I haven’t been honest with him about it.  I told him I had a nose and breast job but he knows nothing about the rest.  

I’m afraid our children will favor me and go through the same torment I did.  I’m also afraid that he might leave me if he knew what my natural looks were.  Should I tell him or should I keep a secret and pray the children favor him?

Signed,

Not Who I Used to Be

What's the "Breast" Route?

Dear WISY,

I've been dishonest with the guy I'm dating and I'm ready to come clean.  I am just afraid of the embarrassment that it's going to cause me, especially since this thing is one of the reasons he is so attracted to me.

I have fake skin color, silicone breast inserts that I use to make my breasts appear bigger.  I wasn't blessed with a full rack and I'm too broke to get plastic surgery so I use what I have in the meantime.  I've been putting off sex with him because I'm afraid one of the inserts will fall out of my bra.  Anytime we're alone and we're getting hot and heavy, I make an excuse to leave.  I'm tired of being anxious and nervous around him when it comes to my breasts.

Do you think I should tell him or should I just let him "discover" them on his own?

Signed,
Small Ones

                                   

Red is for Love...Making?

--The content of this letter may be disturbing to some readers, read at your own risk.--

Dear WISY,

I am married to a man who has a very weird sense of what sexy is.  I did not know he was like this before I married him and now he is revealing his true self.  

He only wants to be intimate with me when I'm on my monthly cycle.  I have tried everything to turn him off from it but he refuses to stop.  When I'm on my monthly cycle, being intimate is the last thing on my mind.  I always have cramps and I feel so bloated.  I don't understand what it is that turns him on.  He behaves like a wolf on the hunt for its prey and sniffs the air like an animal.  Then he pounces on me and whispers the word "blood" over and over until he climaxes.

I'm slowly falling out of love with him because of this.  He is not the man I married.  I have confided in a friend and she told me that I was being unreasonable.  What is your opinion on this?

Signed,
Disgusted

       

Sick of My Friend

Dear WISY,

I'm writing to ask some advice about my friend.  Please post this letter to your blog.  

One of my best friends has converted to a religion where they do not believe in using modern products.  He has let his hair grow out on his face and on his head.  He has become a vegan and grows his own food but what bothers me is the fact that he doesn't use toothpaste or deodorant anymore.  He smells so bad that I don't even want to visit him anymore.

I feel terrible because I grew up with him and he still wants the relationship to remain the same but I cannot tolerate the smell.  I asked why he doesn't use an all natural deodorant and toothpaste and he told me that I am only offended by his smell because society has been brainwashed to dislike their natural selves - odors and all.  I can understand his perspective but it doesn't change the fact that I gag when I smell him.

What should I do?  He is my children's Godfather and he has always been around.  We all love him dearly but it is so hard to be around him.  I'm considering ending the friendship.  Am I being too harsh?  I might get used to his smell in time but as of right now, it makes me sick and leaves me with a terrible headache.

Any suggestions?

Signed,
Sick of My Friend

                

Embarrassed by the Way She Dresses

Dear WISY,

A friend of mine is beginning to embarrass me when we go out and I'm not sure how I should approach her about it.  She likes to dress in clothes that aren't appropriate for her body.  She had a baby last year and gained a lot of weight.  Don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with thick women but she's still trying to fit into her pre-baby clothes.  She was a size 6 before her baby and now she's double that.  People look and laugh at her and I don't like it.  

I have to be careful with my words because she had a hard time with postpartum depression and I wouldn't want her going back to that state but how do I tell her that her strapless dresses don't contain her breasts and stomach anymore?  Do I suggest going shopping together?

Signed,

Embarrassed Friend

Carnival Seductress

Dear WISY,

I have a confession and I really just want to know if there is anyone else who does this.  I come from a country where we have carnival celebrations every year and it seems as if a fever overtakes my body when the new music is released and the sexy costumes are displayed.  What I'm trying to say is; I always cheat on my man during carnival.  I don't know what it is about carnival that just makes me want to let loose and act on my desires.

I have no conscience during carnival.  My cousins who are christian always say carnival is the devil's playground and I'm beginning to believe it.  I don't know what it is.  It just amazes me that it is the same scenario for me year after year.  I met my first love during carnival.  Could that be the reason?  I don't know.

Is there anyone else who does this or feels the same way I do?

Signed,
Carnival Seductress

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My Man Is Too Anxious

Dear WISY,

What I can do to help my boyfriend get better in bed?  He is just too hyper.  I want him to slow down and calm down.  I told him and despite what I say he still behaves the same.  He talks so much that it's hard for me to relax and get in the zone.  All of his world wind excitement lasts just about three minutes and then I'm left to stare at the ceiling.  

Is this reason to break it off with someone?  Everything else is fine but I just can't deal with the bedroom antics anymore.

Signed,
Ceiling Gazer

                                    

When Lost Love Returns

Dear WISY,

I'm in a situation that I wish I could erase but it's a reality that stares me in the face daily.  I am married to a successful man.  We have been happily married for seven years and he came to me at a low point in my life and uplifted me.  He made me feel as though I was worth something again.  He met me at the bus station where I was waiting for a bus back to my town because my fiance had cheated with another woman, got her pregnant and was being forced to marry her.  The other girl's family pressured me to leave town and I did.

M husband saw me sitting there as he waited for his bus back to school.  He bought me something to eat and drink and left me with his phone number and asked me to call him whenever I felt like it.  I didn't even pay him much attention because my heart was open to only one man.  I called him a couple of weeks later and he invited me to come visit him and I did.  He was like a breath of fresh air and we eventually got married.  

I can honestly say that my heart has never fully repaired and my ex still holds a very significant piece of it.  I wish that wasn't the case but it's true that we can't help who we love.  Which is why when I saw him last week, my heart jumped for joy and I felt like there was electricity running through my body.  His excitement was equal to mine and we embraced in the market as if I was a single woman.  He told me he had come to look for me and how he regretted not standing up for me.  He wants me back and I was ready to run off with him.

I told him I was now married and he began to cry.  He asked me to divorce my husband and I am really considering it.  I know it is unfair but what can you do when your heart is tugging so hard?

I need to know what should be done.

Signed,
Lost Love

Jealous of My Boyfriend's Girl Friend

Dear WISY,

I need some advice concerning my boyfriend and his best friend.  My boyfriend's best friend is a girl and at first I was okay with it when he described her as "one of the boys".  Then I met her and was blown away by her appearance.  She is curvy and has a gorgeous face!  She is what I thought every man would want and I can't help but think that my boyfriend wants her too.  To make matters worse, she has a great personality.  She's perfect and I feel threatened by her.  I can't help but think that one day she will run crying to him about something and he will comfort her and one thing will lead to another and then the next thing you know, they'll end up having sex.  The thought of that kills me inside.

I don't want to come off as an insecure girlfriend but I am very worried.  I want to say something to him but don't know how to start.  What should I say?

Signed,
Jealous

    

     

Virgin With a Bad Reputation

Dear WISY,

I have a bad reputation for jumping from guy to guy and everyone assumes it's because I'm promiscuous.  In fact, I am a virgin and every guy I talk to wants me to have sex and I'm just not ready yet.  That's why I end relationships quickly.  The problem is the new guy also believes I'm promiscuous and thinks I will have sex right away.  When I tell them I'm not ready they get angry and say I'm lying.

I'm not sure what I should do.  I love being in a relationship but I'm not ready to have sex yet.

Signed,
Jumpy Virgin

                                      

Rent-A-Dread??

Dear WISY,

I've been dating this guy for about four months now and when I met him he was a humble guy.  I couldn't get over how humble he was because he was drop dead gorgeous.  

I met him while on vacation and I fell in love with him within the week that I visited his island.  He showed me all the spots that tourists don't get to see and he made my nights unforgettable.  I fell hard for him really fast.  I was hopeless and there was no way of rescuing me from his seductive arms.

After I left, I began sending him money on a weekly basis because his living conditions were less than ideal.  I've even sent him barrels filled with clothes, shoes and food.  I've sent him a top of the line cell phone and other gifts to help with his low income situation.

Now, I can barely manage to reach him.  When he does pick up, he doesn't have much to say.  He hurries me off the phone and is short with me.  I don't understand why he is treating me this way now.  I've given him everything he wanted and I even considered bringing him to the UK for a vacation.  He's no longer my humble, golden locked hunk of a man.

What have I done wrong?  Please help!

Signed,
Hopelessly in Love

                   

Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child

Dear WISY,

A friend of mine has a three year old child and she allows him to misbehave and even disrespect her.  She doesn't discipline him and says it's just a phase he's going through.  He slaps her, bites her and I've heard him curse at her too.

The other day she asked me to watch him while she ran some errands because he was just too out of control.  I agreed and she dropped him off to my house.  As soon as the child got there, he started pulling stuff off my shelves and running around like a wild dog!  So, I grabbed him and spanked his behind.  He cried and cried like if I had punched him in the face but then he went and sat quietly and watched TV.  He didn't give any kind of trouble after that.

When his mother came back I told her I spanked him and how well-behaved he was after.  I thought I was giving her the perfect solution for her child's behavior but she got so mad at me and told me that she was going to report me for child abuse.  I told her to go ahead because what she is doing with her child is not benefiting him in any way.  She hasn't spoken to me since and she has told everyone how I abused her child.

Where I grew up, kids took lashes from anybody if they were misbehaving.  

Was I wrong?

Signed,
Miss Discipline

                                                                                                     

What One Dance Can Do

Dear WISY,

I am currently involved in a long distance relationship with a guy I met when I was 15.  I'm now 32 and he is the only man I have ever been with.  He decided to move away to further his studies last year.  At first I was disappointed because I thought it was due time for us to get married but he assured me that it was best to wait and set himself up to provide a good life for me and our future family.

Since he has been gone, I have been hanging out with my friends to help me cope with missing him.  I guess his friends have been telling him that I'm out a lot more and have been commenting on how nice I look.  At first, he was okay with it but now he has become jealous and now questions my every move.  He has even tried to tell me that I wasn't allowed to go out.  Now, our relationship is just argument on top of argument.  

The last time I went out I met a guy and I decided to dance with him.  After all, it's just a dance and that can't hurt anything.  I ended up dancing with him the whole night and when I was ready to leave he walked me to my car and asked to have my number.  I gave it to him and we have gone out a few times since.  I told him about my relationship and he is okay with that too.  He said he believes we met for a reason and that what is meant to be will be.  I agree.

Now, I can't get this new guy out my head.  I wait anxiously for his calls and texts and I get excited when it's time to see him.  I feel like a young girl again and I wish this relationship could move to the next level.  

I still love my boyfriend and I don't want to lose him after all these years but this new guy has awakened something in me and I feel like he just may be worth it.

Should I leave my boyfriend for him?

Signed,
Alive Again

                                                                                                       

Craving Him

Dear WISY,

I have a problem.  'Problem' is probably too light of a word for me to use in this case.  I have something that hinders my thoughts and actions and has taken total control of my life.  I need help and I need it right away.

I am in lust with my boss.  He is not my type of man at all.  He is short with a very big stomach and his head his bald and he is just hideous.  But my boss has very sweet words; almost like honey and sugar mixed together.  He tells me things in my ear when he comes into my work area and it makes my knees buckle and my panties wet.  The last time he did that I looked him in the eyes and asked him to see me later on that night.  He agreed instantly and gave me the hotel information shortly after.

That night I met with him and had the best sex of my life.  It was so good that I haven't been able to focus on anything else.  At work, I am the one whispering to him and flirting with him.  When his wife calls or visits the office I get upset.  My work production has decreased and my professionalism has gone to the dogs.  I cannot believe this man has such a hold on me.  I cannot stop thinking about how he made my body explode with pleasure.

He has threatened to terminate my employment if I cannot get myself together.  I am trying so hard to do so but all I want is some more of his sweetness.  I told him I needed a dose of his medicine to get me back on track and he said he regrets the day he laid his hands on my body.  That hurt me bad to say the least and I am now on a path to change his mind about me.  I would just like to have him one more time and make it so that he is the one chasing me again.

My friends don't understand my obsession with him.  They think he is disgusting but who feels it, knows it (wink).  I dress in my best and make sure I look as sexy as possible every day but all I get is unwanted attention from the other men at work.

I just want him again and I will be satisfied.  I feel like I need him in order to move on.

What should I do????

Signed,
Craving Him

                                                                         

Dissatisfied

Dear WISY, 

How are you and your readers doing?  I have a problem and I want some advice, please.  I am with a guy who isn't up to par as far as size matters.  When we are together I make noise and act as if I'm feeling something but I don't feel a thing most times.  He thinks I am enjoying myself to the max but I am so dissatisfied. I love him and we have been through all sorts of sh*t but I can't help but think about other men and how I can be properly satisfied in bed. 

Should I tell him how I'm feeling or should I just deal with it?

Thank you very much.

Signed,
Dissatisfied

                                                                         

Loyal Wife

Dear WISY,

I am the best wife any man could ask for.  I am supportive, I am sexy, I never refuse sex and I hold my husband high on pedestal because that is the way I was taught and that is what I believe is right.  For some reason, that is not enough for him.  

The last time we made love, I heard him on the phone talking to someone when he thought I was asleep.  He told this person that he imagined himself being with them instead of me while he was having sex.  He spoke to them with yearning in his voice and he told them that he wished I would leave so he could be free to love them.

As you can imagine, my heart sunk and I cried silently until morning.  I decided I would confront him in the morning, but once morning came, he rolled over on top of me and made love to me.  I was submissive and allowed him have me without any problems.  Once he was done, he kissed me passionately, looked me in the eyes and told me that he was lucky to have a wife like me.  I am confused to say the least.  Was I dreaming when I heard him on the phone?  

I don't know what to do.  A wife is supposed to be 100% loyal to her husband no matter what.  "For better or for worse..."  I meant what I said.

Should I still confront him or should I let it go?  I will get over it in time, right?

Signed,
Loyal Wife

                                                                        

Tempted to Touch

Dear WISY,

I've read some of your letters and I've gained the courage to write in and express how I am feeling.  

This past week I have been in a state of shock and I have not been myself at all.  I am carrying on as if everything is okay but honestly I am fighting a battle within myself that is burdening my spirit.

I found out that my daughter is dating a man I used to date a long time ago.  Long before she was even born, I met this man at a party and we dated briefly.  She had been telling me about her new man and how mature and established he is but I never thought he would be old enough to be her father.  She brought him to the house for dinner and I almost dropped the dish I was carrying when I saw his face.  I didn't know whether I should acknowledge that I knew him or pretend he was a stranger.  The introduction confirmed that he was indeed the man I dated and I could barely shake his hand.  He didn't let on that he knew me, so I kept quiet.  I used to curse the fact that I have gained a lot of weight, but that night I was thankful for it.  I guess I looked too different to recognize.

Long story, short - I have been reminiscing on the times I spent with him and how good of a lover he was.  I can't help but have dirty thoughts about him but I must stop because he is my child's man.

He is at the house a lot now and I am tempted to touch.  I know it is wrong but I cannot help how I am feeling.

Any suggestions as to what I can do to get these kinds of thoughts out of my head?  I hate that I feel this way.

Signed,
Tempted