I'm In Love with My Mom's Man

Dear WISY,

This is awful and I know it but sometimes loves drives us to do the unthinkable.  I have been in a secret relationship with my mother’s boyfriend for the past two years.  She thinks he’s still around because he loves her but in fact it is me that he loves and I love him.  When she is away for work, he and I have the most fun in the house and do whatever we want, wherever we want to do it.  It’s exciting and now I want to have him all to myself.  I can’t stand it when he is locked away in her room for hours.  I hate that he sleeps with her at night and I hate that he kisses her in front of me.

I am willing to risk the relationship with my mother for this man.  He is just that great but I know how heart broken she will be and I can’t live with that.  If she didn’t love him the way she does, I would take him but she is truly in love and I know how damaged she would be if I took him.

I’m ready to move out to try to keep my mind off of him and when I expressed this to him, he threatened me and said I could never leave him.

What should I do?

Signed,

In Love with Mamma's Man

My Friend Is Secretly Jealous of Me

Dear WISY,

How do you deal with a friend you know is jealous of you but insists on hanging around you and pretending to like you?  I ask because I have a person who I thought was a friend who I’ve recently found out has been secretly glorifying any obstacles or downfalls I have and I can’t figure out why she would be this way after all I’ve done for her.  I genuinely care for this girl and only want the best for her but she is talking about me and everything I have confided in her about secretly with a mutual friend.  

I just can’t get over how good of an actress she is.  This girl hugs and speaks to me as if I’m her only loved one on earth, she acts as if I am the person she adores the most in this world and I feel the same about her.  I’m very confused by her though.  Please tell me how I should deal with her.

Signed,
She's Jealous of Me

My Child Is Deaf and My Man Is Mad

Dear WISY,

I hope you will post this to your blog and give me some sound advice about my situation.  Last year, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.  Her father and I were very excited about her birth and prepared like excited first time parents should.  Everything was perfect until she entered the world.  She was born deaf and my boyfriend has since changed his attitude towards me and sadly towards her also.  He said that there was something wrong with me and that’s why our baby came out with a defect.  He is really upset with me and barely speaks to me anymore.  He has a hard time being around our daughter.  He seems upset and frustrated all the time.  It’s so bad that I am afraid to leave her alone with him out of fear of what he might do.  

I am to the point where I have had enough and want to leave the relationship.  I don’t want my daughter to grow with a father who doesn’t love her because she is deaf.  My daughter thrives in every aspect of life and I know her deafness will not hinder her from becoming a model citizen.  I know you are probably saying that I know what I need to do and I should leave but when I thought of my future as a child, I never thought of having multiple fathers for my children and I am ready for another baby.  He is also willing to try again for a baby with zero issues.  What do you think I should do?

Signed,

Mother of a Deaf Child

Not Who I Used to Be

Dear WISY,

Growing up, I was the ugly duckling.  I used to cry when the children teased me and said I looked ugly.  I didn’t want to go to school or anything.  It was constant teasing on a daily basis.  I would even hear teachers make comments about my looks when I walked by.  I became a very depressed child and I was suicidal at one point.  You can’t imagine the pain I went through.  It was terrible.

Today, I am a very attractive woman.  Men throw themselves at me and I can’t walk down the street without turning heads.  I think I have finally found the man of my dreams and he wants to get married and have a family.  I should be very happy but I am holding sadness inside.  In my late teen years and early twenties, I underwent a lot of plastic surgery.   I’ve had cheek and chin implants, a nose job, botox, lip injections, tucked my ears back and had a breast augmentation.  I look nothing like how I looked when I was a child and I haven’t been honest with him about it.  I told him I had a nose and breast job but he knows nothing about the rest.  

I’m afraid our children will favor me and go through the same torment I did.  I’m also afraid that he might leave me if he knew what my natural looks were.  Should I tell him or should I keep a secret and pray the children favor him?

Signed,

Not Who I Used to Be