He Took My Happiness

Dear WISY:

Today marks the anniversary of the saddest day of my life.  I don’t usually talk about this but I am in so much pain and I just need to let it out and speak about it openly and truthfully and I can’t do that with the people I know.

Last year, on this day, I was supposed to preparing for the birth of my child in a few weeks.  I was so excited and my house was ready to welcome the new addition.  My husband was excited too. Every day he came home and rubbed my belly and expressed how happy he was. He was the best father-to-be on the planet in my eyes.  

However, his excitement was all an act.  You see, my husband (now ex-husband) was living a double life.  He was already a father to three young children and he kept them and their mother hidden away from me in a huge house overlooking the ocean.  This man is so sick that he would drive me by the house and ask if I liked the house and if I could ever see myself living there.  Each time, I would imagine myself in that house living with my husband and future children.

His acts of adultery and trickery were terrible but I could get over all of that with the distraction of a new baby but he took that from me too.  One night he came home and his smell was odd.  It was a mixture that caused me to become nauseous and I went immediately to the bathroom.  He came in and pushed my head into the toilet.  He hit my head on the seat until I passed out.  The rest of the ordeal I had to learn from my health records and the doctors who could stand to deliver such tragic news.  He beat me so bad that I had two black eyes, a broken nose and jaw, missing and broken teeth.  Patches of hair were pulled from my head and the worst of all; he kicked me repeatedly in the back and stomach until he killed our baby.  I had to be taken to the hospital for an emergency surgery.  

The weirdest thing is, he took me to the hospital and told them everything.  He was arrested and taken away to jail.  I haven’t seen or heard from him since and I have since moved from that town and I am trying to get a visa to America to be with my cousins.  I cannot live here anymore with these people who look like him and remind me of him.

I just wanted to talk about it today.

Thank you.

What's Your Preference?

I received a few letters from men asking what they can do to attract women.  They want to know what women like, so...

Ladies:

The guys want to know what type of man is the best match for you?  Why?

a) Submissive

b) Rebel

c) Dominant

d)Other (give your own explanation)

Guy #1 or Guy #2?

Dear WISY,

I am in a position and I know what I should do but I can't bring myself to do it because my heart has clouded my judgment.  I'm head over heels in love with someone who isn't right for me and I'm being pursued by someone who is doing everything right and would make the perfect life long partner.  

I can't explain how I feel about Guy #1.  What I feel can't be put into words.  It's like there is a force that pulls me to him.  He has expressed his feelings towards me and they are identical to mine but for some reason we always have conflict.

Guy #2 is sweet, caring and pays close attention to me to determine my likes and dislikes.  He has his flaws but is willing to work to become a better person so that we can have a solid relationship and bright future.  I respect him for that and I care about him but I don't love him.

Why is it that I can't love the right one?  Should I ignore my feelings for #1 and move forward with #2?  Do you think the feelings will subside for #1 and increase for #2 if I do this?  I need your input.

Thank you.

Signed,
Which One?

       

Shedding Light In The Dark

Dear WISY,

I would like to shed light on a topic no one seems to want to talk about.  I am in a very sick and dysfunctional family.  I'm not going to butter this up or make light of the situation so please edit as you see fit.

My stepmother has been abusing my brothers for the past five years or so.  I had no idea until my youngest brother (only 13) came to me and confessed everything.  He is doing poorly in school and has been in numerous fights with other students.  I believe his behavior is a direct result of what is happening to him at home.  

He told me that this b*tch would go into their rooms late at night and touch them inappropriately.  She began having sex with my eldest brother when he was 15.  He is now 20.  My youngest brother is afraid that she will try to have sex with him next since my eldest brother has left the house.

I told my father but he is so busy running after other women that he really doesn't care.  He says I'm making things up and that my youngest brother is lying.  My eldest brother has moved away from home and won't return our calls.  Now I know why.

I want to know if I should go to the police?  Where I live, people don't really talk about these things.  It will bring shame but I do not care.  I want to shout it from the mountain top so that everyone knows what she had done!

Signed,

My Brothers' Keeper

                                           

Surprise, Surprise!

Dear WISY,

I've discovered something about myself within the last month or so.  It's something I have always looked down upon and thought it was a desire that only people with mental illness crave.  

I was making love to my girlfriend on a Sunday morning before we go to church to repent for our sinful behaviour and I was on top of her giving it to her like the stallion I am.  She was moaning as usual and her eyes were rolled back in her head.  She gripped my buttocks and then her finger brushed against my anus.  Oh my goodness gracious!  What a sensation!  I behaved as if I didn't notice but I moved her hands back to that spot hoping to feel it again.  I was lucky!  The finger touched again and I pushed myself into her.  She realized the pleasure and kept her finger there, eventually inserting it.  I behaved like a wild buck!  Throwing myself into her like a mad man.  However, she liked it.  I am ashamed to say I liked it too.

I would like to know if this is something among normal people or am I going mad?!

Signed,

Ashamed to Like It

                                             

Money First, Family Later

Dear WISY,

My man is intimidated by my success.  At first he said he loved the fact that I had all I needed and acquired it on my own.  He loved it when we took trips to places he'd never been and he loved the clothes, the events and everything else that came with dating a successful woman.

A few months ago he started asking about children and if I had any intentions of having a family with him.  I told him I wasn't ready to start a family and I wanted to work towards increasing my net-worth before taking a break to raise a family.

His response was not at all what I expected and he began insulting me about the very things he initially admired me for.  He says I'm too bossy, too stubborn/strong headed etc.  He has made mention of leaving me and finding a woman who is humble and not afraid to allow a man to be a man.

I'm so thrown off by his behavior.  I don't understand how he could switch his views on me.  After all, I never said I wouldn't start a family.  I simply stated that I wasn't ready.  Where's the crime in that?

Signed,
Not Ready

Dis"GRUNT"led

Dear WISY,

I have a problem.  I am in a new relationship with someone who is a great boyfriend.  He does everything a woman would want her man to do but I have a problem with him.  He makes this disgusting grunting sound when he eats and it has turned me off from him.  My mother said I’m being ridiculous but I just can’t get over it.  What methods do you suggest I use to get over something like that?

Signed,

Disgruntled with the Grunter

Can't Keep Up

Dear WISY,

I have been dating a guy from my city for about a month now.  He's a lot of fun and keeps me on my toes.  Every day it's something new and exciting.  The problem is, now I'm tired.  I would like to spend some evenings doing something low-key or even spend the night just resting.  

When I suggest doing something different, he tells me I'm getting boring and can't keep up with him.  The truth is, he's right- well half right, I can't keep up with him but I don't want to lose him.  The sex matches his high energy and he is drop dead gorgeous.  He's smart, well-rounded and passionate about life.  I wish I had the stamina to match his.  Should I just hold on and hope my energy increases or should I push the 'next stop' button and get off the ride?

Signed,

Can't Keep Up