Is My Cousin Sleeping With My Man?

Dear WISY,

Lately, I’ve been so sad and depressed.  I just don’t know what to do.  I don’t know what it is but my boyfriend has changed drastically on me.  We share the same interests and have always enjoyed doing things together but for the past month or so, it’s been hell in my home.  He ignores me, he’s out all night, he sleeps in the guest room and he has put a lock on his phone, tablet and laptop. 

We’re supposed to be planning our wedding but it looks like I should be planning to move out and be on my own.  I’ve tried talking to him about it and he assures me that we are fine but it’s obvious that things are not good. 

What really prompted me to write this letter is what happened last night.  Last night I stayed up and listened for the door.  It was around 3:00 AM and I’m usually asleep.  He was talking on the phone but I couldn’t make out what he was saying.  He went into the bathroom and then peeked in our room to see if I was asleep.  I pretended I was.  He left and went into the guest room.  After a few minutes, I crept over to the guest room door and I could hear him talking to someone.  I suspected he was video chatting with them because he was telling the person to bend over and pose and show him areas of the body that I am too embarrassed to type.  He was enjoying it a lot and I couldn’t stand it anymore.  I opened the door and confronted him.

I could see that it was another woman on the screen and I’m pretty sure it was my cousin but she ended the session on her end before I could get a good look and he closed his laptop.  I asked who it was and he kept telling me to go back to bed.  He was irritated and said that we would talk in the morning.  He pushed me out of the room and I went back to bed, heartbroken.

This morning when I got up, he was already gone.  I called his phone but he didn’t answer.  I emailed him, texted him, I left voice messages but he didn’t respond to any.

Should I give up and tear myself away from him?  What about my cousin?  Should I ask her if that was her on the screen?

I need some support.  I am so broken up over this.  The feeling I have is unbearable.  What should I do???

Signed,

Broken Up

                                             

My Man Had An Outside Child but I love it!

Dear WISY,

I date a guy who is very popular on my island.  He is a part of a sound.  If you don’t know what that is, it’s like a group of guys who play music at parties and have sound systems with speakers and sometimes they clash each other to see who has the best music.  A little more complicated than that but you get the idea.  Those kind of guys are very popular and the girls go mad over them.  I knew that before I started dealing with him and I still went ahead and did my thing.  

I don’t mind the fact that girls are crazy for him but I do mind that he is doing things with them and getting them pregnant.  This nasty girl sent me a message on FB with a picture of their supposed baby.  I showed him the picture and he said he doesn’t know the girl or the baby.

For some reason, I didn’t believe him.  Why would this girl send me a message and go as far as to attach a baby picture if he wasn’t the father?  I messaged her back although he told me to block her and asked for her number.  She sent it right away.  When I called she was cool and very sad.  She said he knows he got her pregnant and has been ignoring her.  She just wants his help and doesn’t want a relationship.  I took it a step further and asked if I could visit her.  She agreed.

I visited her and the baby and I fell in love with that child.  He was the spitting image of my boyfriend and he couldn’t deny him.  I went out and brought back some pampers and baby food and told her I would help her even if my boyfriend didn’t want to.  The child was just too special to ignore.

My man was very upset with me and I explained to him that it didn’t matter if it was his or not.  I would love that baby even if I had met him under different circumstances.  I just feel a connection with the child and I can’t explain why but I won’t question or fight the feeling.

He has since left me and come back.  He is shocked at my behaviour and he said that he needed to see this baby that I love so much.  So I took him with me when I went to take some stuff to the mother.  The girl cried when she saw him and told him that she didn’t want him but didn’t want him to ignore their child.  He then admitted that he did sleep with her and he would like a paternity test just to be sure the little boy is his.

Since all of that, we have all been in contact with each other and giving the baby the love and care he deserves.  My friends say I am crazy and that they would have left him for doing what he did but it’s just something I can’t explain.  Children are innocent and love conquers all.

I just want to tell these women out here who use their children as revenge and treat them bad because of what their father did to the mother that it’s not the child’s fault.  Raise them with love so that they understand what it is to love and be loved and therefore won’t repeat the cycle of broken relationships.

I don’t think I’m crazy, do you?

Signed,

In Love with Baby Boy

                     

My Father Is Under The Spell of My Wicked Step Mother

Dear WISY:

I come from a very happy family.  My siblings and I enjoyed a very nice upbringing.  My fondest memories are of us climbing fruit trees and laying in the yard filling our bellies with mangoes, guavas, sugar cane and lots more!  It was awesome and I always said I would raise my child in the same fashion.

Unfortunately, my mother died a few years ago and we were all grief stricken (still are).  My father recently remarried and his new wife has since transferred all of his assets into her name and has ordered that my siblings and I not return home after college.  I am in my last year and I am pleading with my father to allow me to come back home until I am able to support myself but he is under the spell of this evil witch and he refuses to allow it.

I am so enraged by my father’s stupidity and this woman’s selfishness.  How could he allow her to take full control this way?  My mother would have never done this to us.  Where are we supposed to go until we can find jobs to support ourselves?

Do you have any suggestions?  Please help.

Signed,

Nowhere to Go