They Called Me an Unfit Mother

Dear WISY,

My child's father's side of the family has been giving me hell about the way I choose to raise my daughter.  They are very religious, Christian people and attend church every Sunday and attend services during the week as well.  I was not raised that way.  I am spiritual and do not believe in the things they believe in.  Because of this, they've disliked me since I met my child's father.  They interfered so much in our relationship, that we broke up.  They call me a heathen and say I am an unfit mother.

I am tempted to keep my child away from them because of the negative things they say about me.  I don't want my child subjected to their behavior.  My daughter is well loved and I do all that I can to provide her with things that will build a positive character within her.  I don't want them drilling nonsense into my baby's head.  I don't want her to adopt their ways.  

Her father is silent in all of this.  He prefers to stay out of conflict, and he visits her on a daily basis, but he does request for our daughter to visit his family once in a while.  I don't know what to do.  I've explained my reasons for thinking the way I do.  Do you think I am wrong in this situation?  Please help.

Signed,
Spiritual Mama

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WISY's Advice:

Dear SM,

As long as you are teaching your daughter love and positivity, I see nothing wrong with wanting to keep her away from people who constantly spew negativity.  However, even though these people degrade you so much, I don't think it's wise to keep your daughter from her family.  Have a long, in depth conversation with your child's father and his family to set the ground rules and expectations for your daughter's visits.  If you are satisfied, allow her the time to visit with her family.  If you are met with contention, explain that your daughter will not visit until they refrain from their negative ways.

If they are true to their religion, they should not be speaking ill of anyone.  Love should reign throughout the family.  That, after all, is fundamental in Christianity.  Maybe they need a reminder. 😉


Walk good,
#TeamWISY

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I Can't Believe My Boyfriend Left Me

Dear WISY,

My boyfriend broke up with me last week because he thinks I am not motivated to become successful.  I am taking a year off from school to relax and figure out what I really want to pursue.  He keeps asking me why I need so long.  I told him I just need a break after high school before going to college.  I told him it's not uncommon for people to do that.  He told me that I am lazy and he's not into unmotivated women.  He told me he can't stay with me because I will make a bad impression on him.  WISY, it's not like I don't work.  I am working and saving my money, but he doesn't understand.

I really love him.  We've been together since our sophomore year in high school.  I am the one who got him to start taking school seriously because he's so smart.  Now, he has the nerve to do me like this.  Should I let him go or take his advice and enroll in school to make him happy?

Signed,
Taking a Break

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WISY's Advice:

Dear TAB,

You have to do what is best for you, not what your boyfriend thinks is best for you.  If you need a break, take one.  As long as you're focused on your goal, do what you must to make your journey better for you.  

Your boyfriend's concerns are legitimate.  You persuaded him to take school seriously in high school and he may fear that your choice to take a year off will influence him to lose focus in college.  However, he could have dealt with this situation better.  Let him do what he needs to do and you do what you need to do.  You're at a point in your life where you'll encounter several cross roads.  Always take the route which suits you best.

Walk good,
#TeamWISY