All We Do Is Argue

Dear WIsy,

My girlfriend and I have been arguing a lot lately. She has a habit of making a big deal out of nothing. Her latest gripe is because of a female coworker calling me after work hours to get some advice about her relationship from a man's perspective.

I told her the woman was just in need of some help and that there's nothing going on. She was still mad and said she doesn't understand why I can't see that it's inappropriate.

So, is it wrong for me to have platonic relationships with women? I feel like she's being too insecure.

What's your take?

Signed,

Fed Up

Dear Fed Up,

"Dance ah yaad before you dance abroad".  The energy that you're willing to use to provide relationship advice for another woman should be directed to your own relationship.

Imagine your woman having arguments with you and then seeing you taking the time to be understanding and invested in another's relationship.

The issue isn't having platonic relationships with the opposite sex. The issue is your failure to see that your girlfriend's "big deal" issues are being minimized while somebody else's woman can access your time and energy for their "big deal".

If you guys are arguing more frequently,  then there is an underlying issue that you both are dancing around. Commit to resolving the issue if the relationship is worth it to you. Listen to each other, broaden your perspective, and lead with love always. Some couples therapy would help too.

Tell your coworker to hit me up if she needs advice - you're busy. 😉

Walk good,

#TeamWIsy🌴

I Got a DM About Their Affair

Dear WISY,

Can you help me, please?  I have been with my boyfriend for a year and 2.5 months.  I met him on a dating app, we went on a date, hit it off right away, and the rest is history.  Anyway, he was the most physically affectionate man when we started off. We couldn't get enough of each other and I loved it.  I thought I had finally found someone who shared the same sexual appetite as I did.  Now, we barely touch each other (well, I touch him but he doesn't respond).  I asked him what happened and he told me that he is just so tired these days and he doesn't understand what the problem is himself.  I'm a reasonable person, so I gave him a chance to make some changes.  Two months passed and nothing changed.  I was miserable but I tried to be understanding.

Next thing I know, I get a DM from a ghost account telling me to leave my man because he is in a relationship with them.  Apparently, he spends his lunch breaks with them and they do it all. You get the picture.  I don't know why I asked him, because of course, he denied it and said that people are jealous and just want us to break up.  Nobody is jealous of us.  My friends have been very supportive of me with all of this.

Since that happened, I can't sleep, I can't eat.  I feel that he is lying to me and I just can't shake it.  I went back to try to speak with the ghost account some more but the account has been deleted.

What am I supposed to do?

Signed,

Suspicious

WIsy's Response:

Dear Suspicious,

If you've been running your mouth to everyone about your boyfriend's drastic change, then it could be what he suggested, but I'm going to assume that's not the case and consider what you've told me.  Something is definitely off.  Such a drastic change is cause for concern.  Has he had a major change in his daily activity that would cause chronic fatigue and a dip in libido?  Has the passion died down? Are you all keeping things exciting?  Are you keeping up with the things that drew you to one another in the beginning? If the math ain't mathing, it may, in fact, be infidelity.

Only you can determine what will bring you peace and what you can tolerate.  So, if you feel he is lying, and it's bringing you unrest, you should definitely prioritize your mental health.  Do what you must to feel like yourself again.  This isn't an easy situation because love often interferes with logic and reason.  Love can cause us to put our feelings aside to keep the "peace", BUT there is a limit to everything and there is balance.  Find your balance.

The truth will reveal itself. May be now, may be later.  You determine how much time you have to give.

Walk good,

#TeamWIsy🌴