Please keep me anonymous. I am dating a guy secretly because he is married but I am beginning to fall in love with him. I should say I am already in love with him because right now I feel I would do anything for him. When I say anything, I mean a n y t h i n g! Even abort his baby to keep him from getting in mix up with his wife. :-( I did do that and sometimes when I think about what I did, I feel extremely depressed. I can't believe I did that but all I wanted to do was keep my man happy.
A month or so later, I was feeling so down and depressed about it and I called him to come over because the rain was falling heavily and I needed him to be with me. He ignored my calls and that really hurt me. I left my house in the rain and went to this man's yard where he lives with his family. I know I'm wrong but I didn't care. Sometimes, anger gets the best of us, you know. I went and knocked on his door until somebody (his wife) answered and asked who it was. I told her who I was and everything I could fit into the short space of time before he came running to the door. He tried to close the door in my face but she was fighting with him to keep it open and I was too so the two of us against him won. She came outside to talk to me and I continued to tell her everything even though he was shouting and pushing me.
The next thing I know, she boxed me across my face and started to laugh. I was so shocked because she was so calm before. She gave me a beating and do you know this man didn't do anything to part us? I begged and bawled but he didn't do a thing. She finally stopped and I ran for my life. After all I did for him and he would allow his woman to kill me there? Not me. I ran like Bolt!
Fast forward to now. He came and apologized to me for everything and I slept with him the same night. Yes, I know I'm stupid but that is what love does. I gave him the best ever. I missed him so much. But now I am pregnant again and he wants me to abort again. I told him I would think about it but what I really want to do is tell him I won't do it again. I don't want him to be upset with me and I don't want any problems with the wife. I don't want her to come beat me and I lose the baby.
What do you think I should do?
Signed,
Pregnant Again
WISY's Response:
Dear Pregnant Again,
I understand that love can make us do crazy things but at some point you have to snap out of it. Clearly you haven't reached that point yet. Perhaps sitting and carefully evaluating your situation will help you get there. Remember how he left you to be beaten and ignored your calls when you needed him. Remember that you are not his wife and should not expect to be treated as such. Remember that he is dishonest and selfish. Remember that you deserve to be loved openly and not in secret.
Whether you keep this baby or not, you must distance yourself from this man. Throughout your letter, you didn't mention one positive thing he has done for you. You only speak of what you have done to protect him and keep him happy. This is not a healthy relationship and the sooner your realize this the better.
Walk good,
#TeamWISY
