I'm In Love with My Mom's Man

Dear WISY,

This is awful and I know it but sometimes loves drives us to do the unthinkable.  I have been in a secret relationship with my mother’s boyfriend for the past two years.  She thinks he’s still around because he loves her but in fact it is me that he loves and I love him.  When she is away for work, he and I have the most fun in the house and do whatever we want, wherever we want to do it.  It’s exciting and now I want to have him all to myself.  I can’t stand it when he is locked away in her room for hours.  I hate that he sleeps with her at night and I hate that he kisses her in front of me.

I am willing to risk the relationship with my mother for this man.  He is just that great but I know how heart broken she will be and I can’t live with that.  If she didn’t love him the way she does, I would take him but she is truly in love and I know how damaged she would be if I took him.

I’m ready to move out to try to keep my mind off of him and when I expressed this to him, he threatened me and said I could never leave him.

What should I do?

Signed,

In Love with Mamma's Man

Not Who I Used to Be

Dear WISY,

Growing up, I was the ugly duckling.  I used to cry when the children teased me and said I looked ugly.  I didn’t want to go to school or anything.  It was constant teasing on a daily basis.  I would even hear teachers make comments about my looks when I walked by.  I became a very depressed child and I was suicidal at one point.  You can’t imagine the pain I went through.  It was terrible.

Today, I am a very attractive woman.  Men throw themselves at me and I can’t walk down the street without turning heads.  I think I have finally found the man of my dreams and he wants to get married and have a family.  I should be very happy but I am holding sadness inside.  In my late teen years and early twenties, I underwent a lot of plastic surgery.   I’ve had cheek and chin implants, a nose job, botox, lip injections, tucked my ears back and had a breast augmentation.  I look nothing like how I looked when I was a child and I haven’t been honest with him about it.  I told him I had a nose and breast job but he knows nothing about the rest.  

I’m afraid our children will favor me and go through the same torment I did.  I’m also afraid that he might leave me if he knew what my natural looks were.  Should I tell him or should I keep a secret and pray the children favor him?

Signed,

Not Who I Used to Be