I am Soca

Dear WISY,

I've been trying to push my music in the soca scene for a while now and it seems the harder I work, the less I accomplish.  I'm from an island that is dancehall dominated and and I swear every time I tell someone I sing soca, they tell me I was born on the wrong island.  Since when does geographic location determine what sort of music you should sing?

I really want to break the stereotype and prove everyone wrong, but there is absolutely no support for a soca artist in this country.  

I would appreciate it if some of your readers could leave some advice for me.  They don't have to be in the same situation either.  I just want to know how to proceed with soca.

Thank you.

Signed,
I am Soca

Soca Housewife

Dear WISY,

Two carnival seasons ago I was promised a shot at debuting as a soca artist.  The guy who promised me everything began to trouble me and eventually we started sleeping together.  I might be ridiculed for this but I only slept with him because I didn't want him to get angry and take back the opportunity.  I consistently slept with him and we even began having sex without protection.  I got pregnant and he told me I could kiss my dreams goodbye.  He told me no mother of his child would be allowed on stage wining up and having men lust after her. My heart sunk and I began to hate the child inside me for robbing me of the opportunity to be a soca artist.  He watched me closely and made sure I didn't try to get an abortion behind his back. 

Slowly I began to love the child growing in my belly. I accepted that my role would be that of a mother for now but always planned to continue on a path to my dreams. I had my baby and I left the man.  I am now seeing a close friend of his who also has ties to the industry.  People are telling him that I am just an opportunist but I actually love him. 

He is beginning to crack under all the pressure and he wants me to forget about my dreams and marry him and be a house wife.  I'm really beginning to think that is my role in life because twice I've been with someone who could help me but both want me to do the same thing.  Should I give up? 

Signed,
The Soca Housewife

Women In the Industry

(Dear WISY)

"I’m writing to tell you a little about what goes on in the entertainment industry.  I want people to know what female artists are faced with on a daily basis.  Let me make it clear that I am speaking about the Dancehall industry in Jamaica.  I’ve been told that female dancehall artists in other islands don’t get treated like we do, but that’s something for them to come talk about.  I can only talk about my own experiences.

I’m going to be as blunt as I possibly can and I would hope that you don’t edit my letter too much.  I’m not asking for advice nor do I need any.  I’ve learned all I need to know in my environment. 

The Dancehall industry in Jamaica is a disgrace as far as women are concerned.  First of all, there are too many women in the industry that don’t write for themselves.  Some producer decides to put one of his f8ck buddies on a riddim and writes all her lyrics and the b*itch can’t even hold a note.  The song is auto tuned to no end and that same song ends up in heavy rotation because of connects and links that the producer has not because the chick can actually sing/perform.

For those of us who can perform and write AND hold a note, we have to bring some lyrics that go above and beyond our male counterparts and when we get on stage we have to do Olympic level gymnastics for the crowd to give us a forward.  We thoroughly entertain and the show promoters won’t even give us the proper amenities back stage.  It’s a damn disgrace!

We have to deal with the rumours of sleeping with whomever we are working with.  If I do a collaboration with a male DJ does it automatically mean I am f*cking him?  Come on people!  I am talented and I’ve worked so hard to keep myself afloat in the industry but every day I am faced with some kind of judgment or stereotype.  It makes me want to leave Dancehall and pursue a career elsewhere.

As I said, this is just a little about the industry.  There’s a lot more that I could discuss, but I just want people to appreciate us more.  Respect the hard work we put in for your entertainment and stop the foolishness."

Groupie Tun Wifey

Dear WISY,

I was reading your blog and ‘Industry Wifey’ & ‘Classy Groupie’ stuck out to me the most.  I can relate to them because I was in both situations.  I was once the groupie and now I am the wifey.

I am here to tell you that groupies are to be feared because they do the things that “wifey” refuses to do.  I did all the things that were considered nasty and as a result the man couldn’t get enough.  I was his fantasy and now I am his reality.  I treated him like a king when his girlfriend complained about him being too lazy.  What she failed to realize is that the man works hard on the road to provide for his family and he should be rewarded for that.  All she did was complain and turn up her nose at the man’s wants and needs.  That’s why I’ve stepped in, moved in and moved her out.

Now, we’ve been an item for a little over 3 months and the loving gets better each time.  I make sure he doesn’t go looking elsewhere for some fun.  I change my hair regularly and make sure I look good each time he sees me.  When we go out, I make sure I am the eye candy of the event.  This way he has no time to look at others because he’s too busy watching the eyes that watch me.

So, to all the women who have time to be investigating certain familiar faces, make time to impress your man so you can keep him and not lose him to someone like me. ;-)

Signed,

Groupie Tun Wifey

Not So Rasta

For our answer to this letter, please visit http://everythingepiphani.com/magazine.html

Dear WISY,

At night, I sit and cry because I have tried so hard to be a successful reggae singer, but I can’t seem to get that one opportunity to show my stuff.  I graduated from school a couple years ago and all my friends thought I would be successful with my singing.  We used to have talent shows and everyone asked me to help them write their songs.  I think I’m talented and I think I have what it takes to be an international super star but I just can’t get anyone to take me seriously.  I write songs that are true to me and reflect my upbringing.  I was raised in a Rastafarian family, so I am conscious.

 

I’ve been told that I will not make it in this business unless I sing about sex and slackness because that it what sells.  I really want to be successful so lately I have been contemplating changing my style of writing and singing.  I’ve even started going to the dances where these girls skin out on their head top and wine up on the men.  The lyrics of the songs make me feel uncomfortable, but I think if I continue to attend these types of parties, I will get used to it and be able to transition.  I have already gone against my parents’ wishes and put a relaxer in my hair.  I don’t smoke herb and I eat chicken every once in a while.  So, I have already started to stray from my upbringing.  Would it be so bad if I just continued on my path to gain what I want?

This really goes against everything I’ve been raised to believe in but what am I supposed to do when that seems to be the only key to success?  But then again, I think about my parents and the way they raised me and I would be such a disgrace to the family if I were to ever go on stage and show my body and sing about what is meant to be sacred for acceptance.  As you can guess I’m very confused and need direction.

Please help!

Signed,

Not So Rasta

Artist Fetish

The following is a letter from one of our readers.  Please leave a comment below.  For our answer to this letter, please visit http://everythingepiphani.com/magazine.html

Dear WISY,

I almost don’t even want to send this in but it’s a burden on me and I’ve written to other advice columns before and they haven’t been much help.  So let me stop wasting time and cut to the chase (big sigh).  I am a successful, young entrepreneur and I have an artiste fetish.  I call it that because I get excited when I hear artistes are coming to my city and I do whatever I can to meet them and “greet” them…with my body.  It doesn’t matter what type of music they sing, I have a thing for a man with a mic.

Here is a scenario of what I go through:  I look out for tour schedules online and then wait for the confirmation that the artiste will in fact be in my city and then I set out a plan as to what I’m going to do to get their attention.  I find the ones that play in lounge or club venues are more accessible and I will usually reserve a table in VIP and pop bottles like a baller – no men, just me and a close friend.  The artistes usually prefer to approach a quiet, laid back female rather than a screaming, all out groupie.  So, I always pull their attention.  They probably wonder who this chick is holding her own in VIP, popping bottles bigger or equivalent to theirs.  Oh, I forgot to mention that my hair, make-up (professionally done), nails and outfit are always on point; nothing too trashy though.  A classy look will take you all the way.   

It usually starts with a glance and a smile and then it moves on to me sending them a bottle (boss move).  Then they come over to thank me and end up having a seat.  I act like I’m not impressed by their fame and they say and do whatever they can to make me impressed.  After a few drinks and some tipsy dialogue, I’m on the way to their room (but not after I offer to have him ride in my limo – yes, I hire a car service too!) and a couple hours of artiste fetish bliss. 

The night usually ends with me checking my phone and pretending to have something or someone to rush off to.  He usually asks me to stay a little longer and I decline and kiss him on the forehead and say “it’s been real.”  This one guy insisted on flying me out to the next show with him and I told him I had my business to attend to.  He was floored by my response and somehow managed to find the address of my business and sent me flowers the next day – flattering, yes, but not what I want.

After they leave town, I don’t hunt them down or anything like that.  I get a thrill out of having them while a million other girls wish they could.  I get a thrill out of being “that girl he left with”.  I don’t do it for money or fame.  I do it because of the high it puts me on. 

Herein lies the problem.  I have come across “a man with a mic” that is pursuing me and I am beginning to fall for him.  I am afraid that word will get around in the industry that I am the classy groupie.  I don’t want him to find out about all the artistes I’ve slept with and the manner in which I left them.  He’ll probably realize that what I did to him is what I’ve done to many others.  He’ll probably realize that what I did to him is just a part of my plot and he will undoubtedly be disgusted and leave me.

Should I back away from him before it gets too serious and spare us both the potential hurt and embarrassment or should I just let the chips fall where they may?    

Signed,

ArtisteLover

Industry Wifey

The following is a letter from one of our readers.  Please leave a comment below.  For our answer to this letter, please visit http://everythingepiphani.com/magazine.html

Dear WISY,

I am the girlfriend of an entertainer.  I don’t want to go too much in detail about what type of entertaining he does, but let’s just say that he is successful with his career and his popularity is growing daily.  Anyway, I know that being the significant other of an entertainer usually means that there will be INsignificant others that he will be involved with on the road.  If I could I would travel with him wherever he goes but my schedule does not permit.

I usually do a very good job of keeping off of his social media sites and if I do happen to take a look, I try my best to not get jealous of the comments and the pictures.  However, the last few times that I’ve looked there is this one groupie who keeps popping up.  I asked him about it and he said that she is someone who works with numerous entertainers and aides them with their travel and coordination needs.  I am not stupid.  I can see the lust in her eyes and the want for my man.  I can see the way she grips on to him as if he belongs to her.  I know she is not just an employee for the road crew.  She is something way more and I feel the need to continue monitoring the situation.

One day, I spoke to one of his friends about groupies in general and he had the balls to tell me that I shouldn’t worry about the chicks that may hunt my man because even if he does sleep with them he is always so excited to come home to me at the end of it all.  He told me that my man expresses his love for me all the time and that nobody respects the groupies so I shouldn’t allow their existence to upset me.

I hear all that and I would actually be ok with it but I feel like this groupie is special.  She might be sneaking in to his heart and I’m afraid that she will replace me.  The reality is that the industry comes with a lot of heart ache and pain for the wife/girlfriend of an entertainer and I believe the men should do everything they can to protect their women from feeling this hurt.  My ultimate wish would be for him to be faithful while he’s out working but I know that’s damn near impossible.  He’s a man and he is flattered by the attention and he thinks with his lower head.  Moreover he is a West Indian man and sadly our culture tolerates unfaithful men.

My question is, is it better to leave him and be lonely (I know I would be lonely because I love him so much that I can’t even imagine seeing someone else at this point) or should I make myself accept what is going on and stay with him in the name of love?  Keep in mind that we have a child and both options can be damaging to the child.

Signed,

Industry Wifey