I am Soca

Dear WISY,

I've been trying to push my music in the soca scene for a while now and it seems the harder I work, the less I accomplish.  I'm from an island that is dancehall dominated and and I swear every time I tell someone I sing soca, they tell me I was born on the wrong island.  Since when does geographic location determine what sort of music you should sing?

I really want to break the stereotype and prove everyone wrong, but there is absolutely no support for a soca artist in this country.  

I would appreciate it if some of your readers could leave some advice for me.  They don't have to be in the same situation either.  I just want to know how to proceed with soca.

Thank you.

Signed,
I am Soca

Soca Housewife

Dear WISY,

Two carnival seasons ago I was promised a shot at debuting as a soca artist.  The guy who promised me everything began to trouble me and eventually we started sleeping together.  I might be ridiculed for this but I only slept with him because I didn't want him to get angry and take back the opportunity.  I consistently slept with him and we even began having sex without protection.  I got pregnant and he told me I could kiss my dreams goodbye.  He told me no mother of his child would be allowed on stage wining up and having men lust after her. My heart sunk and I began to hate the child inside me for robbing me of the opportunity to be a soca artist.  He watched me closely and made sure I didn't try to get an abortion behind his back. 

Slowly I began to love the child growing in my belly. I accepted that my role would be that of a mother for now but always planned to continue on a path to my dreams. I had my baby and I left the man.  I am now seeing a close friend of his who also has ties to the industry.  People are telling him that I am just an opportunist but I actually love him. 

He is beginning to crack under all the pressure and he wants me to forget about my dreams and marry him and be a house wife.  I'm really beginning to think that is my role in life because twice I've been with someone who could help me but both want me to do the same thing.  Should I give up? 

Signed,
The Soca Housewife

Groupie Tun Wifey

Dear WISY,

I was reading your blog and ‘Industry Wifey’ & ‘Classy Groupie’ stuck out to me the most.  I can relate to them because I was in both situations.  I was once the groupie and now I am the wifey.

I am here to tell you that groupies are to be feared because they do the things that “wifey” refuses to do.  I did all the things that were considered nasty and as a result the man couldn’t get enough.  I was his fantasy and now I am his reality.  I treated him like a king when his girlfriend complained about him being too lazy.  What she failed to realize is that the man works hard on the road to provide for his family and he should be rewarded for that.  All she did was complain and turn up her nose at the man’s wants and needs.  That’s why I’ve stepped in, moved in and moved her out.

Now, we’ve been an item for a little over 3 months and the loving gets better each time.  I make sure he doesn’t go looking elsewhere for some fun.  I change my hair regularly and make sure I look good each time he sees me.  When we go out, I make sure I am the eye candy of the event.  This way he has no time to look at others because he’s too busy watching the eyes that watch me.

So, to all the women who have time to be investigating certain familiar faces, make time to impress your man so you can keep him and not lose him to someone like me. ;-)

Signed,

Groupie Tun Wifey

Industry Wifey

The following is a letter from one of our readers.  Please leave a comment below.  For our answer to this letter, please visit http://everythingepiphani.com/magazine.html

Dear WISY,

I am the girlfriend of an entertainer.  I don’t want to go too much in detail about what type of entertaining he does, but let’s just say that he is successful with his career and his popularity is growing daily.  Anyway, I know that being the significant other of an entertainer usually means that there will be INsignificant others that he will be involved with on the road.  If I could I would travel with him wherever he goes but my schedule does not permit.

I usually do a very good job of keeping off of his social media sites and if I do happen to take a look, I try my best to not get jealous of the comments and the pictures.  However, the last few times that I’ve looked there is this one groupie who keeps popping up.  I asked him about it and he said that she is someone who works with numerous entertainers and aides them with their travel and coordination needs.  I am not stupid.  I can see the lust in her eyes and the want for my man.  I can see the way she grips on to him as if he belongs to her.  I know she is not just an employee for the road crew.  She is something way more and I feel the need to continue monitoring the situation.

One day, I spoke to one of his friends about groupies in general and he had the balls to tell me that I shouldn’t worry about the chicks that may hunt my man because even if he does sleep with them he is always so excited to come home to me at the end of it all.  He told me that my man expresses his love for me all the time and that nobody respects the groupies so I shouldn’t allow their existence to upset me.

I hear all that and I would actually be ok with it but I feel like this groupie is special.  She might be sneaking in to his heart and I’m afraid that she will replace me.  The reality is that the industry comes with a lot of heart ache and pain for the wife/girlfriend of an entertainer and I believe the men should do everything they can to protect their women from feeling this hurt.  My ultimate wish would be for him to be faithful while he’s out working but I know that’s damn near impossible.  He’s a man and he is flattered by the attention and he thinks with his lower head.  Moreover he is a West Indian man and sadly our culture tolerates unfaithful men.

My question is, is it better to leave him and be lonely (I know I would be lonely because I love him so much that I can’t even imagine seeing someone else at this point) or should I make myself accept what is going on and stay with him in the name of love?  Keep in mind that we have a child and both options can be damaging to the child.

Signed,

Industry Wifey