True Friend

Dear WISY,

In more instances than we would like to admit, we get angry at our friends but don’t let on because we don’t want to spoil the friendship.  We love our friends dearly and we enjoy their company but sometimes there are things we rather not see or hear from them.  So, we tend to talk about them behind their back to others about it rather than to them. 

What I have just described is not the way I operate.  If there is something that bothers me about a friend, I will address it with them directly – hence, the reason I have very few friends.  Most people can’t handle hearing about their faults but bawl out the words:  “real, genuine and trustworthy” and when you personify these words they have the nerve to call you a “hater and bad mind”.  I've been told that I'm a very intense person and I'll take that because I love who I love and I love 'em hard.

With all that being said, I would like to discuss the situation I’m writing in about.  I have a friend whom I would more call a sister that has suddenly become offended when I pull her aside and tell her certain things about her behavior.  Long ago we made a pact to never take our grievances elsewhere but to always remain true to each other and discuss the problem face to face.  It didn’t matter if we cried it through, cursed it through or simply talked it through, it always ended in a hug and a deeper connection between us.

Now all of a sudden she doesn’t want to talk, she has nothing to say about my situations and this is out of character for her.  Honestly, it has been affecting me mentally.  I’m not sure what to make of it and I miss that bond we used to have.  I’ve tried speaking to her about it but her response is always the same; there’s nothing wrong.  I know this girl like the back of my hand and I know for a fact that there is a change, so I did some snooping and I believe I’ve found the problem.

She’s dating a guy whose sister despises me (she actually used to despise my friend also but somehow that changed).  I think her “sister in law” has a lot to do with how she treats me these days.  It’s a fragile situation because she’s very happy with her boyfriend and I wouldn’t want to do anything that could possibly put a strain on their relationship but on the other hand I’m suffering.

Should I speak up about it?  I don’t want to put her in a situation that would make her feel the need to choose and I understand her want for a good relationship with the sister.  Nobody wants their significant other’s family to hate them.  I just can’t take the half-hearted friendship anymore.  Should I bring it up or find someone else to take her spot?

Signed,

True Friend