Please keep me anonymous. I am dating a guy secretly because he is married but I am beginning to fall in love with him. I should say I am already in love with him because right now I feel I would do anything for him. When I say anything, I mean a n y t h i n g! Even abort his baby to keep him from getting in mix up with his wife. :-( I did do that and sometimes when I think about what I did, I feel extremely depressed. I can't believe I did that but all I wanted to do was keep my man happy.
A month or so later, I was feeling so down and depressed about it and I called him to come over because the rain was falling heavily and I needed him to be with me. He ignored my calls and that really hurt me. I left my house in the rain and went to this man's yard where he lives with his family. I know I'm wrong but I didn't care. Sometimes, anger gets the best of us, you know. I went and knocked on his door until somebody (his wife) answered and asked who it was. I told her who I was and everything I could fit into the short space of time before he came running to the door. He tried to close the door in my face but she was fighting with him to keep it open and I was too so the two of us against him won. She came outside to talk to me and I continued to tell her everything even though he was shouting and pushing me.
The next thing I know, she boxed me across my face and started to laugh. I was so shocked because she was so calm before. She gave me a beating and do you know this man didn't do anything to part us? I begged and bawled but he didn't do a thing. She finally stopped and I ran for my life. After all I did for him and he would allow his woman to kill me there? Not me. I ran like Bolt!
Fast forward to now. He came and apologized to me for everything and I slept with him the same night. Yes, I know I'm stupid but that is what love does. I gave him the best ever. I missed him so much. But now I am pregnant again and he wants me to abort again. I told him I would think about it but what I really want to do is tell him I won't do it again. I don't want him to be upset with me and I don't want any problems with the wife. I don't want her to come beat me and I lose the baby.
What do you think I should do?
Signed,
Pregnant Again
WISY's Response:
Dear Pregnant Again,
I understand that love can make us do crazy things but at some point you have to snap out of it. Clearly you haven't reached that point yet. Perhaps sitting and carefully evaluating your situation will help you get there. Remember how he left you to be beaten and ignored your calls when you needed him. Remember that you are not his wife and should not expect to be treated as such. Remember that he is dishonest and selfish. Remember that you deserve to be loved openly and not in secret.
Whether you keep this baby or not, you must distance yourself from this man. Throughout your letter, you didn't mention one positive thing he has done for you. You only speak of what you have done to protect him and keep him happy. This is not a healthy relationship and the sooner your realize this the better.
Walk good,
#TeamWISY
Get rid of this one too because you will be subjected to a life of misery having someone's husband's child.
ReplyDeleteHave you no self worth? You need to tell him you will abort the baby so he can give you the money and then take the money to get as far away from him as possible. you can find a man that will respect you and be willing to take your child as his own. just go
ReplyDeleteDarling, you are being used for sex and probably attention/affection while he gives nothing significant in return. He did not defend you because his wife still matters to him. Don't feel bad though. This type of abuse (using for sex and affection) happens to a lot of women - some men are just charming. You just need to snap out of this obsession that you are mistaking for love.
ReplyDeleteIt is your choice whether or not you want to keep the child but ensure that you right down the pros and cons. The child will not make the two of you get together. So be sure to think it through thoroughly.
In the future, do not let anyone treat you like that. You are no ones doormat. Let them chase you. When you chase them they think you do not know your worth and the cycle restarts.
*write down
Delete