Educated & Liberated

Dear WISY,

I am almost finished with college and my parents are expecting me to marry someone who I don’t want to marry.  I am not from a culture that arranges marriages but my parents feel I owe it to this man to marry him.

I grew up in poverty and when I turned fifteen this man took special interest in me and started to help support my family.  He helped my father fix the holes in our house roof and build back up the fence.  He added an extension to the house so we could have an indoor bathroom and kitchen.  He has even paid my entire college tuition for all four years.  At the time I thought he was just a good friend of the family but when I went off to college he expressed how he really felt about me. 

I discovered that he was doing all those things because he wanted my family to accept him and persuade me to be with him even though he’s a bit older than me.  I have always been obedient and I have always wanted to please my parents and ease their stress, so I went along with the program.  But, now that I’m educated and I’ve been exposed to the world and its endless possibilities, I see no need for me to give myself to this man.  I don’t want to be perceived as ungrateful but on the other hand I don’t want to be trapped in a life of misery.  I guess I could make myself content with being with him but I may always have that "what if" thought in the back of my mind.  

Is it worth the discomfort of my family to go about my business and make my own life?  I love them so much and the thought of them falling back into poverty brings tears to my eyes.

What would you do?

Signed,

Educated & Liberated