Dear WISY,
My boyfriend and I were living together and were together for five years before we split up. He decided to have a talk with me about our issues and our future and I took it the wrong way and we broke up. After that, we fixed things and were fine until he said something that annoyed me and I told him we weren’t even together. From that point, everything went downhill. He was barely home, we barely spoke. I moved out because he spoke to my father about me leaving. This was in October.
After that, we still talked and he made it seem like we’d fix things, but then he said he didn’t want to because I’d have random fits where I’d be mean to him and he said he couldn’t deal with me being that way to him anymore.
He dated a girl who used to be my friend and lied to me about it, then after I accepted it he told me he needed to talk to me. He said he made a mistake, that he has no real connection with her, and that he just wanted to see if someone more like him could be a better match, but she wasn’t. He said he was sorry and understands if I don’t want to fix things.
I’m at a loss at what to do, he’s never done anything like this before. He’s always been extremely faithful and completely truthful. This is the first time he’s ever done anything like this. I want to fix things with him but I’m not sure if I’ll be making a mistake. Could you please advise me in the best way you can?
Signed,
A Lost Gal
A Lost Gal
WISY's Response:
Dear ALG,
It sounds like you two still have a deep connection. It sounds like it may be something worth working out, but there is some work to be done before you proceed. I see that attempts to discuss issues prior to this didn't end well. Try it again with the guidance of a counselor or a trusted person with experience. This cycle will continue if you do not address "taking it the wrong way", "random fits", and "being mean".
I'm guessing that your guy opted to date an ex friend of yours as retaliation with hopes that you would feel the type of pain he felt that led him to step away from your relationship. When he saw that you accepted the situation, he came forth with the intentions of talking things through to re-establish your relationship. Though this was an immature and damaging move, I don't see that relationship being anything outside of a cry for attention.
There are better ways to communicate with each other. Couples' therapy will give you the proper tools to do so and further insight as to whether you two can move forward or leave things as is. I genuinely believe things can work if you two put in the emotional and psychological work required.
Walk good,
#TeamWISY
No comments:
Post a Comment
What are your thoughts on this? Please share.