I'm writing to complain about my husband. I am considering divorce because he refuses to grow up! I am tired of cleaning up after him, I am tired of him eating like a pig, I am tired of washing his stained underwear, I'm tired of him passing gas from both ends without saying "excuse me", I'm tired of him trashing the house worse than our children do, and most of all, I'm tired of him being so damn selfish!
My husband and I both work but he refuses to share equal responsibility with our children's activities. He says I should cover the cost and time because he thinks it's all a waste of time. Instead, he spends his money on video games and action figures. I told him it doesn't matter what he thinks, the children enjoy it.
He is just very immature, and I feel more like his mother than his wife. What should I do?
Signed,
Fed Up
Dear Fed Up,
I'm going to assume that your husband didn't just wake up one day and decide to be immature. You met him this way and probably had hopes of him changing for you or you may have both been immature and he has failed to progress his mentality. In any case, you knew who you were marrying. I'm not making excuses for him, but people need to stop believing they can change people. People will change when they feel the need, and he's probably of the mindset that he doesn't need to change. So, you'll have to help nudge him in the right direction.
I can tell you're at your wit's end since you're considering divorce, and I'm sure you've communicated your grievances with your husband (right?). The next step would be to seek professional help. Tell your husband that you want to see a marriage counselor to help diminish the issues you are having. Maybe that will prompt him to reevaluate his attitude towards his actions within the household and with helping to fund your children's activities.
If a marriage counselor is out of the question then you can turn to a family member or community leader for help. Perhaps another male's guidance can sway him in the right direction. He needs to understand that you are partners. There's no room for such selfish behavior in a healthy marriage.
Walk good,
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