I’ve never done this before or asked for relationship help, but I need it bad. My boyfriend wants too much from me. I give him so much attention, it is honestly draining me and he constantly wants my attention and love and care and it’s draining me. I’ve given him so much. I want to tell him to tone it down because all we talk about is lovey dovey stuff and sometimes I just want to have a real conversation and laugh a little. I don’t want to hurt his feelings but he needs to know he’s too clingy.
Signed,
Drained
Dear Drained,
It sounds like you've got a guy who is head over heels in love with you or he may just be the type who finds his fulfillment in his romantic relationships. Either way, I can understand how his behavior may become annoying and eventually push you to the point where you feel stifled and no longer want to be in the relationship, so before that happens, you must communicate how you're feeling.
As you stated, it's important not to hurt his feelings. The best advice I can give is for you to speak with him about his interests outside of the relationship. Encourage him to pursue some hobbies so that you can have some space from time to time. It's healthy for couples to have their own interests separate from each other. There's nothing wrong with showing love and appreciation, but smothering is annoying and unhealthy. Balance is always key.
If he still can't take a hint then you'll have to just come out and tell him. Be sure to approach it in a way that won't make him feel that you're pushing him away (if that's not what you want).
Walk good,
#TeamWISY
My God, what a good problem. Ma'am, your man is not clingy. He's just more affectionate than you are. Don't tell him to "tone it down," that is disrespectful. Make plans with him, then make plans without him so you can have some space and just let him know the times you will and will not be available to him. If you want to lighten the mood or conversation, you do it. Crack a joke, do something fun or whatever non lovey dovey activity would be enjoyable to you both. Yall just need to learn how to communicate on a grown-up level where you both are heard. That does not include you coming out the gate trying to make something wrong with him when there is nothing wrong with him.
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