Dear WISY,
I’m a woman in my late 40s.
I have two children and I’ve been married for almost 15 years. I am very career driven and travel a lot in
order to maintain my position at my company.
I am determined to advance to the highest level here. Unfortunately, my drive at work has caused
some issues at home. My children don't get to see me often and I feel terrible about it, so I spoil them with whatever they want.
My husband has been cheating on me and I’ve always had a
hunch. I knew for sure when my youngest
started speaking of the woman, and said that my husband brought her to our
home. My youngest is 8 and doesn’t
really understand that another woman in our home poses an issue. My 15 year old is a boy and he’s always out
playing sports and hanging with his friends.
When he’s at home he is always playing the PlayStation. He wouldn’t know the house was burning until
it’s too late, so he hasn’t noticed anything.
I asked my husband about it and he asked me what I expected
if I was always gone and chose my career over my family. I don’t see it that way; I am doing all of
this for my family. We are well off and
it’s not become of my husband’s income, it’s because of mine. I feel like my husband is being ungrateful
and unreasonable. He asked me to scale
back at work and spend more time with my family or he was going to file for
divorce. I never expected this. I thought we were fine. I thought we were doing what we were supposed
to be doing as a couple.
Do you think I should let him leave? It’s obvious that he doesn’t respect our
union because he brought someone into our private space. I don’t think it’s fair to sacrifice my
dreams to appease a man.
Please offer your advice.
Signed,
Career Woman
Usually I'm not the type to overlook betrayal, but if you think about it, your husband could argue that you've betrayed him also. You've chosen to prioritize work over your family. His talk about divorce is a cry for help. Listen to him. If he really wanted a divorce, he would tell you he's divorcing you instead of giving you an ultimatum. I recommend you see a marriage counselor to work through this with your husband. I'd just hate for your children to permanently lose a parent at home. They're already dealing with your constant absence, please begin to consider their well-being.
I really hope that you can work this out. Again, balance can turn this situation around for the better. If you are unable to see past his infidelity, then I hope you've both learned valuable lessons. Whatever you decide, don't continue to neglect the children.
Walk good,
#TeamWISY
Ma'am, have a seat. We need to talk. Your kids PREFER YOU OVER TOYS any day of the week. They want to know you and they want you to know them. Trinkets do not equate to love and only makes you feel less guilty because you have withheld your presence from them. You are deadass wrong for that.
ReplyDeleteYou have sacrificed your family on the altar of your personal pursuit, your career, to feed your own ambitions. Though your husband is wrong, you must step back and look at the big picture. By your own admission, your family has been asking for more of you and you have declined their request. Perhaps your husband was acting out, trying to get your attention?
At the end of the day, you have been selfish. Money does not make a home if the house is empty.
LISTEN TO YOUR FAMILY. They are calling out for you but you so busy "doing you" they are afterthoughts.
Think about it from their perspective and step outside your own wants and be the mom and wife you committed to being. That is all. Carry on.
Why do women expected a man to fall in line with their goals and dreams at the expense of his potential happiness. We as women need to understand we maintain balance in the household. If we don't someone or something else will. She needs to listen to what he said or she'll be paying alimony.
ReplyDeleteYour career should come second to your kids. Some women don't have motherly instincts I swear.
ReplyDeleteI once tried chasing what was truly gone,but realizing the damage i was about doing to myself,i retraced my steps. I lived in misery for the past 2yrs,while trying to be the best girlfriend to a guy who could cheat and lie to my face at the same time, I believed him because i love him, but after getting access to his phone through the spyware sent to me by a cyber professional, {hackingloop6 @ gmail com}.I saw how disrespectful he treated me over the years we dated. hackingloop is also reachable on WhatsApp + 1 484 540 - 0785 ,if U need any hacking assistance,tell him i referred U.
ReplyDelete