I'm in a very hurtful situation and I need help. I found out that my man is having an affair with my friend. I caught the both of them in my bed when I came home early from work. They were so into each other that they didn't realize that I was watching them for about 30 seconds before they saw me. My man was telling my friend that he loves her and that he can't wait until they don't have to hide anymore.
I can't believe that my friend would do this to me. I took her in when she didn't have anywhere else to go and I have been helping her and encouraging her during this hard time. She knows how much I love my man. I don't understand why she would do this to me.
Since I caught them, my man has been apologizing and being extremely nice to me. I don't really blame him because men will be men. I'm trying to work it out with him. My friend is also trying to make amends, but I don't want anything to do with her. My man told me she was the one who came on to him and seduced him. He's really sorry and I believe him.
I need help getting over his betrayal. What should I do?
Signed,
Hurt
WISY's Response:
Dear Hurt,
I know this situation cut you deep and I'm sorry you had to experience it.
First, I can't ignore the fact that these words ("he loves her and that he can't wait until they don't have to hide anymore") didn't resonate with you enough to realize that you need to dump the both of them. Second, why are you so quick to dismiss your friend and not your man? If anything, he owes you more loyalty than she does. Third, men will be men doesn't fly when you're in a committed relationship.
The best way to get over the betrayal is to throw out the trash, burn your sheets (maybe the mattress too), and rally your true friends to uplift you during this difficult time. You are probably having feelings of inadequacy, hence your willingness to forgive him and have the opportunity to prove yourself. So, you'll need lots of honest and positive energy surrounding you now.
The truth is: some people will continue to take advantage of you for as long as you allow it. They will continue to push their limits until their behavior becomes the norm. Don't get caught in the trap. He got away with sleeping with your friend and will continue to cheat because you are indirectly allowing it.
Wash you hands, go get tested for STDs and move on.
Walk good,
#TeamWISY
Ma'am you're being ridiculous, if you're going to spurn your friend you must also spurn your man. They were both equally treacherous and in your own bed at that. Men will be men, boys will be boys and hoes will be hoes. If you are going to forgive one, forgive both. If you are shitting on one, shit on them both cause they both shit on you. Forgive or move on with a new friend and new man. The choice is yours.
ReplyDeleteHow in the world can you believe the same MAN that cheated on you with your so-called friend. They're both wrong & YOU need to separate yourself from the both of them
ReplyDeleteThat whole situation was just a recipe for disaster. You try to help out your friend by allowing her to stay with you and your man. I bet you share with her intimate details about your man. I'm sure she's attractive. That's a bomb with a short fuse. If you want to forgive him, go ahead. If you want to kick your friend out, then do it. Put pride aside and what other people may say and do what feels right and what makes you comfortable.
ReplyDeleteBoth have to go. You heard him say what he said and your falling for his lies now. Please respect yourself.
ReplyDelete