Dear WISY,
I need help,
please. I’m a married woman and I have
been with my husband now for 12 years but we’ve only been married for 2
years. My husband is a nice man but he
has wandering eyes and hands. The other
day, I overheard him in the garage telling his friend that he didn’t mean to
get his side woman pregnant and now she’s refusing to abort the baby. I wanted to scream, I wanted to faint, I
wanted to beat him but all I could do was stand still. It was like my feet couldn’t move. I don’t have children and I don’t think I can
have any but we have been saving money for fertility treatment.
Since that
happened, it’s been 2 months and he’s been acting strange. I keep asking him what’s going on and he says
everything is fine but I know better. I
am hurting too, I don’t know what to do and I don’t want my husband to leave me
for her. You know babies can make men’s
hearts soft and he might leave this childless home to be with his offspring.
I feel that if I
ask him, it may speed up the process of him leaving and going there so as long
as I remain the source of happiness and peace for him, he will stay here. What’s your opinion on that strategy? What do you think will happen when the baby
is born?
Please help, I
need to prepare myself for what is to come.
Signed,
Worried Wife
Dear WW,
I’m all for
loyalty and unconditional love but I can’t say I wholeheartedly agree with your
logic. Why don’t you tell him you know
he has another woman pregnant? I think
getting it out in the open will be a sigh of relief for the both of you, no
matter how painful this is. If you’re
adamant about keeping a cheating, careless man as your husband then you should
tell him that he doesn’t need to worry; you’re not going to leave. I'm sure he'll be relieved to hear that.
You should ask
yourself the question about what will happen when the baby is born. I couldn’t possibly suggest an answer for
you. Can you handle knowing your
husband had a child with someone else?
Are you willing to allow him the time to be with his new baby? Are you
going to be jealous that the side woman was able to produce with him and you haven't yet?
I’m concerned that
you are continually neglecting your feelings and allowing the diminishment of
respect your husband has for you. When you speak with him, be sure to make some demands which will benefit you. Be sure to have him fully make up for what he has done to you and also prepare for the possibility that he may leave but you have to get this thing out in the open. The sooner you two discuss everything through, the better.
Walk good,
#TeamWISY
Are you guys ready for Mother's Day?
Click the offers below!
Ma'am, I understand your pain but your strategy is fantasy. He left your bed and went to another woman bed. He left a child there. If he is a man, he will be a present father and his relationship with the mother is permanent because of the child. If he is not a man, and an absentee father, do you really want to stand by him? The answers lie within you and what you want to do. Ride it out but confront him. Yank that band aid off so you can get to the inevitable as quickly as possible so you can heal and possibly heal your marriage. It hurts like hell, and I am sorry for that. Stay up.
ReplyDelete