She Won't Stop Harassing Me

Dear WISY,

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of twenty years.  I gave my all to this man, hoping he would marry me and give me the loyalty I deserve but all he did was cheat on me and treat me like crap.  

The reason for the break up was because I found out he had another child with some random woman.  This last child would make the third.  I always blamed myself because I have fertility issues and couldn't give him children so I let him slide for that.  This child was the last straw because he promised it wouldn't happen again and the child's mother constantly harasses me.  That's why I need your help.

I am happy being single at the moment and not worrying about what my boyfriend is doing.  I am trying to have peace in my life but the child's mother taunts me and stalks me to the point where I don't want to go to work or leave my house.  She threatens me and says that she will hurt me if she ever finds me around my ex.  I don't know why she is saying this because I don't want to see him.  In fact, he is the last person I ever want to see.

Please, WISY, tell me what to do.  I just want peace in my life.  

Signed,
I Need Peace

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WISY's Response:

Dear INP,

20 years and 3 outside babies later, I'm glad you mustered the strength to let go of that situation.  Now, you need to use that same strength to let this woman know that you are not going to allow her to continue this crazy behavior towards you.  Don't allow that chapter to continue to haunt you any further.

If you want her to stop, you can't continue to be passive.  The only reason she continues to harass you is because she knows you won't retaliate.  It's time for you to change her opinion of you.  The next time she calls (or however it is that she communicates with you), tell her that she has nothing to worry about as far as you and your ex are concerned, so she can stop letting her insecurities drive her to be this way.  Then you need to give her a warning.  Tell her that any other form of harassment will leave her facing some serious consequences.  And the most important thing is, you need to say these things and mean it.

I hope you have documentation of all she's done so you can use it as evidence against her.  Stalking and harassment are crimes so I hope she has bail money in the case that she doesn't take your warning seriously.

Bottom line is, you need to stop allowing people to treat you poorly.  Read some self-help books, seek counsel from a respected person in your life and dig yourself out of this hole they've stomped you into.  Learn to love yourself and you will find true inner peace.

Walk good,
#TeamWISY