Rasta Imposter?

Dear WISY,

I met a nice Rastafarian guy while I was on vacation in the Caribbean.  Before you assume anything, he was not one of the opportunist types you hear about who wants a green card.  In fact, I am also from the Caribbean and I know how to differentiate between an opportunist and the real deal.  Anyway, I met him and I was immediately attracted to him.  He was also attracted to me.  Needless to say, things got hot between us and when it was time for me to leave, I didn't want to go.  We made plans to see each other regularly, so I've been visiting the island frequently to be with him.

Each visit brought us closer together and he got so comfortable with me that he did something to me which shocked me.  As far as I know, Rasta doesn't do these things but this man turned into a super freak on me.  He kissed me where he should penetrate me.  I'm not into all of that.  I believe Rasta should be pure and live up to the standards expected of them.  Needless to say, I started seeing him in a different light.

I'm thinking of talking to him about it and letting him know that his behavior does not uphold Rasta livity and that was the main thing that attracted me to him but I don't know if I should.  Outside of that, he's a wonderful man but if he insists on continuing that behavior, I don't think I will ever see him again.

Signed,
Rasta Lover

The Kebra Nagast: The Lost Bible of Rastafarian Wisdom and Faith From Ethiopia and Jamaica

I Am a Rastafarian (Religions of the World (Rosen))

WISY's Response:

Dear Rasta Lover,

This is a touchy subject and I haven't done enough research to answer you with facts but from what I've experienced, the stance on sexual behaviors varies according to who you speak with.

Rastafarians generally reference the Bible and preach of universal love and peace.  Here is where the confusion comes.  The Bible calls for the prohibition of certain acts but you'll find that this sometimes conflicts with the Rasta livity guidelines.  If livity calls for love and acceptance for all and the Bible calls for the slaughter of certain societal groups then lines are bound to get blurry.  In the Bible, fornication is also prohibited but you seem to be happily fornicating without question.  So, you see, it depends on what the issue is and who you ask.

So, if your Rasta man got freaky with you one night after many sexual encounters and you don't like it then tell him you're not down with all of that and you'd rather not do it anymore.  I think your belief may be more cultural than spiritual but that doesn't mean you don't have a right to voice your opinion, it does, however, mean that you should take care not to confuse the two.

Perhaps he now views you as a queen or Goddess and feels the need to love and pleasure every inch of you.  Maybe him performing oral sex on you was his way of showing you that he honors you wholly.  I don't know, I'm just trying to get you to see that this isn't grounds to call it quits.  

Also, being repelled by a man performing oral sex on you suggests that you are unclean.  You are a woman, the mother of all, the nurturer, the most resilient being on Earth.  Nothing is more powerful, nothing is more pure.  Think about it.

Walk good,
#TeamWISY