I'm Against it but I liked it

Dear WISY,

I'm writing because I have something I need to vent about and I also need to get some advice about how to deal with it.

A few months ago, I was working late with my team at work and I don't know if it was because I was tired and not my normal self but I started to respond to the inappropriate advances of my co-worker.  Usually, I would shut him down immediately but for some reason, I flirted with him that night.  We were alone, working on a portion of the project together and he touched my butt and my body went wild.

The next day, we exchanged emails and text messages and made a date for the next night.  I tried to talk myself out of it but I couldn't escape his grip.  I showed up to the hotel room in the outfit I agreed to wear for him.  We had dinner and drinks in the room and then he started to touch me and remove my clothes.  Then I did the same to him.  Usually, I would be disgusted by someone like him but I was more aroused than I had ever been before.  

The issue is he's an overweight Caucasian and I'm a sexy, little African American male, yes male.  I've always had homosexual thoughts but never acted on them because I'm a christian.  These are the types of activities I pray against and I publicly condemn but I had the most fun I have ever had that night.  I have never been satisfied to that degree before.

I don't want to stop seeing him but he's beginning to catch the feels and I do not want that clouding his judgment.  He wants us to go public and let people at work know too.  He has no problem with this because he's openly gay but of course I am not open about any of this.  In fact, I want to proclaim it and make it adamantly clear that I am straight and I believe I just made a mistake.  I am also single so it's not like this news would hurt my girl but it would hurt my family and I can't deal with that drama right now.

Tell me what you think I should do.

Signed,
Secretly Bi

The Key to Unlocking the Closet Door: A Coming-Out Guide on a Journey toward Unconditional Self-Love

COMING OUT (OF THE CLOSET)

WISY's Advice:

Dear Secretly Bi,

What you should do is not waste any more of this man's time and end the relationship if you are not willing to take the next step with him.  It's not fair to keep someone attached to you for selfish reasons.  

Life is way too short to be hiding such a major part of who you are so maybe you should start attending a church that welcomes all people to sit comfortably in its congregation.  That way you can still consider yourself a christian and still be comfortable with your sexual preferences.  By the way, do you also condemn fornication, dishonesty and betrayal?  If not, you should think about why you excuse some sins over others since, apparently, no sin is greater than the next.

If everything I've said is unacceptable for you, that's fine as well.  If, despite all your fun and fulfillment, you still feel the need to be emphatically straight, then I guess you can continue to pray about it, maybe consider meditation and hypnosis or some sort of exorcism to rebuke that element of your character.  Okay, I may have taken the sarcasm a bit far there, I apologize.  You should continue to pray to not give in to temptation - all temptation...and become a monk. 😒

If you couldn't tell already, I have a serious problem with people like you who hide who you truly are and end up hurting people because you are too much of a coward to live your own life.  There have been too many cases of closeted men betraying their female significant others and causing a whole heap of pain and unnecessary shame.  It needs to stop and you need to always be honest about who you are.  

You can't continue to hurt people because you are ashamed to be with them or by continually withholding your true self.  Give people the opportunity to choose if they want to deal with your issues or not.  Honesty goes a long way, trust me.

Walk good,
#TeamWISY