Prisoner in Paradise

Dear WISY,

I need your advice on a very complicated situation.  You may not totally understand because of cultural differences but I will attempt to be as relatable as possible.

As a child, I was sent to work on the street selling fruits and vegetables instead of going to school.  My parents could not afford to send me to school because where I live, school is for the rich.  You might be surprised to know that I am speaking of a Caribbean country with very influential people who are known globally.

One day, I was selling my goods as usual and a man approached me and asked about my family.  I told him everything about us and he asked if I could keep a secret.  I was nervous and was about to run and scream but he pulled out his wallet and bought all the fruits that day and sent me home early.  The next day he came again but this time he came early in the morning and bought everything.  He continued this for a week and then my parents got curious about how I was able to sell everything so quickly and accompanied me the next day.

When he came the next day, he told my mother that he wanted to groom me because he saw my potential.  They had a conversation and the next thing I knew, I was going to school in a brand new uniform and shoes with all my school supplies for the first time in a few years at the age of 10. 

I did very well in school and I passed my exams to attend a very good high school.  The man continued to support me and my family and always said he expected the best from me.

When it was time for University, I expected the same support from him and he delivered but there was now a price I had to pay.  I became his girlfriend and I was told by my mother that it was normal. 

I finished University and now I am a career woman but I am depressed and feel like a prisoner.  Work is the only place I am allowed to go.  I am dropped off and picked up and once I am at home, I have to prepare meals, clean the house and provide sex.  I have complained to my mother but she said we are paying off our debt.  I feel alone and hopeless.  I have no friends and parents who obviously don't care about my feelings.  I feel like I don't want to live anymore if I have to live like this.  The funny thing is, women envy me for the way I look, dress and the Uptown address but they have no idea what I am going through to be this way.

I am awaiting your reply.  I need a way out of this!  I am ready to give up!

Signed,
Prisoner in Paradise

Verbal Abuse: How to Break Free of the Chains in Abusive Relationships and Regain Your Confidence

 Abusive Relationships: Manipulative People and Emotional Assassins - How to Spot Them 

WISY's Response:

Dear Prisoner in Paradise,

I am replying to you via email now and will post your letter later.  

My heart goes out to you and I just want you to know, above everything else I say here, that your life is worth living and you will overcome this nightmare and live in happiness and peace in your near future, don't give up!  You have already demonstrated how courageous you are by writing to me and I hope that I can be a source of encouragement and power to you.  Reaching out is always the most difficult step in these situations, everything else will come with increasing ease.

This is your life and nobody has a right to dictate how you live it.  Your mother exploited you at a young age probably because she thought it to be the only way out of your family's situation.  Instead of going the extra mile to protect and provide for you, she used you as a meal ticket.  For this, you do not owe her any sort of loyalty; what she says should fall on deaf ears.

This man took advantage of your situation and created a sick fantasy for himself, again, you owe him nothing!  Confide in someone trustworthy at work if you need to vent and seek the counsel of organizations designed to help women like you.  You will need solid, professional support to combat this man.  He will undoubtedly try to manipulate, threaten, and scare you.  He will use every desperate measure he can find to keep you but remain firm and hold on to the promise of a future beyond your wildest expectations.

Since childhood, you have proved your resilience and now have the opportunity to prove it again.  Armed with your intelligence and accomplishments, you will take the necessary steps to free yourself of others' expectations and truly and wholeheartedly live for you!

Resources in her country were provided via email and kept from the site at the Sender's request.

Walk good,
#TeamWISY

If you or anyone you know needs advice, email WISY at DearWISY@gmail.com.  All identities are kept confidential.