I'm going to explain this to you as best as I can without writing too much.
As a young girl, I was introduced to a lot of situations before my time. As a result, I am very guarded and unpleasant to deal with. I am aware of this and I am trying to become a better person for my man. For example, in the past, I would never go to a ball game with my man but now I go.
I was facing a lot of hurt and pain because my man was getting friendly with his co-worker. He had been buying new work clothes and going to happy hour several times a week. He was also on his phone a lot more and I believed he was talking to her.
I went to his job yesterday and approached the girl. I asked if she knew about me and she said she did. She had this look on her face like she knew something I didn't know. I couldn't take it any longer and I slapped her. Long story short, I was escorted out and threatened with charges but my man convinced her to settle down and not press any. He also left me on the spot and in the process, he revealed that he was in fact dealing with her because I am such a horrible person to deal with.
I really was making an effort to be better for him. I don't know where I went wrong and I need some help because I need to win him back or at the very least, be better for the next relationship. What do you think I can do to improve my attitude?
Signed,
Attitude Girl
Dear Attitude Girl,
Your first mistake was working on yourself for the sake of your man. You need to work on yourself for your own inner peace THEN you can worry about being a better person for someone else.
It sounds like your childhood events and the damage they caused are tormenting you. The best thing to do to remedy this is to seek professional help. You will not grow past that hurt until you face it head on and heal yourself. It will be the hardest thing you'll ever have to do but it is necessary and you will be amazed at the person who blossoms from the closed bud you currently are.
You are already aware that you have an issue. Now, just take the next step to becoming that pleasant person I sense you want to be.
Oh! and no more slapping and no more pop up visits, okay? You're lucky he cared enough to get you out of a ride to the nearest police station.
Walk good,
#TeamWISY
You don't know where you went wrong? You're not ready for any relationship until you learn yourself and why you react the way you do. You were deadass wrong in all your assessments and you had no business going to his job to confront anybody. You were just a girlfriend, and a crappy one at that. Keep your hands to yourself is the 1st rule you need to learn cause your end could have been a lot worse. Go to therapy, EAP, call Iyanla, do something to find out gow to fix your broken places or you will continue to hurt people and you'll end up alone. But Wisy is right, do it for you but do it NOW.
ReplyDeleteDid you really need to ask for help with this. Stop playing the victim and be proactive about your needed life changes.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it takes losing someone you love to really take a good look in the mirror. It's a good sign that you now realize you need to do and be better. I think that you maybe insecure and a bit childish. You can forget about that boyfriend. You really can't come back from something like that. First of all, take a break from men for at least 8 months. Learn to love yourself, enjoy yourself, change the people around you, develop new habits, read some self help books, take some classes or college courses, wear fake glasses, go to the gym. Resist men and make it all about making a better you. Call it "the rebirth" and start new in 9 months to a year.
ReplyDelete