My husband brought his mother to live with us when his father died a few months ago and ever since she has been in my house my husband has become a big baby. She does everything for him and criticizes me for not being a good enough wife for him. I've complained to him about it and he told me I should be happy that some of the strain has been removed from my day to day life.
I am not happy in my own home. This woman has not taken some of the strain, she has taken it all. Everyday she wakes up and begins the cooking, cleaning and washing. It makes me look like I'm a terrible wife. I am left to hear her ridicule me all day while he is at work and when he comes home he runs into her arms like a little toddler child. It is disgusting and has turned me off. I didn't marry a mama's boy, I want my husband to be the man I know he is.
I am no longer attracted to him but he tells me I should have sex with him every night since I have no house work to do and cannot complain about being tired. This is so hard for me to do and I just keep still until the mama's boy is done with me. When he is finished, I can't wait to take a shower.
Another issue his mother has caused is me being free to roam on the net. I have been having relationships with men online and at times, I have phone sex with them. Their voice sounds so manly and I can imagine being with them physically. I am tempted to meet one of them so we can do the real thing but I don't know how I will do it with the hawk eye lady now in the house. I guess I should forget about that and continue the phone sex.
I know it may seem different but I do want my husband back the way he was. We had a very good relationship before his mother moved in and showed me another side of him that I hate.
What do you think I should do to get my husband to be a man again and how do I take back some of the control in my home?
Signed,
Desperate Housewife
WISY's Response:
Dear DH,
I understand you're in a tough spot right now but you can't blame your mother in law for your infidelity. I believe you're looking for validation since you've been ridiculed as a house wife but cheating on your husband and fulfilling some stranger's fantasies online is not going to help you feel worthy again. Subconsciously, you are seeking revenge for your husband's inability/unwillingness to defend you to his mother and you should have a serious conversation about it with him.
Explain yourself; tell him your feelings for him are changing since you have been forced into a role you're not comfortable with. If he can't understand your point of view then maybe you should encourage him to go to marriage counseling; that may make him realize that his marriage is in trouble and a change is needed.
May I also suggest that you try to look for fulfillment outside of the home? Maybe take a course, volunteer, do something constructive which will combat your boredom. If your mother in law is willing to take the household duties off of your plate, it may not be such a bad idea to pursue a long time goal or learn something new. Every disappointment is a blessing; delve a little deeper than the dating sites on the web.
Walk good,
#TeamWISY
I would be so annoyed with him. If he wants to be mama's baby let him do it and you can be whatever you feel like.
ReplyDeleteUgh I can totally understand what you are going through. Too many mothers are guilty of that but it's the men to be blamed. They need to show mama a lil tough love now and again and stop acting like they still tied to the fucking umbilical cord. Talk to him expressing your concerns am feelings and if he still act like an ass well.... do what the fuck you must. Some of them act like they wanna fuck their sons ....
ReplyDeleteThat last line though...I've often noticed the same thing. Smh
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