I don't know what to do. I'm in a situation that is bound to hurt one of the two people I love the most in this world.
My best friend fell on hard times and came to stay with me four months ago. She was only supposed to stay a month but she has become lazy and hasn't done anything to help her situation. Because she's my friend, I can overlook a lot of her bad habits but my man is not so kind. He told me she needs to go or he's leaving.
I'm a very neat and clean girl but my friend is sloppy. She is so beautiful but her habits don't match her appearance and on top of that she doesn't like to shower so the room she's staying in smells funky. She doesn't pay rent or any of the bills or buy groceries. She only uses her unemployment check to buy fast food for herself every day and leave all the trash in her room. I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm beginning to dislike her.
My man didn't come home last night and she's all in my ear telling me to dump him because he must be out cheating. She has no idea that he just can't stand to be around her anymore. I don't want to lose my man over this girl who was only supposed to be here a month but in the same breath, I love her like a sister and don't want to hurt her feelings.
How would you approach this situation?
Signed,
BFF vs BF
WISY's Response:
Dear BFF vs BF,
Boyfriend aside, as her best friend, you should always be truthful and honest with her. If you agreed to helping her for a month and she is still in your home, using your utilities and not contributing to the upkeep of your household then it's time for you to help her along her merry little way. Condoning her laziness is not helping her in the least bit. As her friend, you need to help her realize that this is unacceptable.
I wouldn't mention anything about your man wanting her out. Instead, tell her that she has become a burden and in order to salvage what's left of your friendship, you'd like her to move out by a certain date. Check the laws in your jurisdiction to see how much time you're required to give her, if any. This will hopefully jump start her will to find work again.
She may be hurt that you asked her to leave but hopefully she can realize that your actions are just a good dose of tough love.
Walk good,
#TeamWISY
Your friend has to go immediately. Tell her that your out-of-state relative is coming to town for a job, and he's going to stay with you and pay you for them room for a few months until he buys a house. Ask her to live with her relatives for a few months. Tell her that he even offered to pay your mortgage or the total rent while he's there. Once she leaves, don't let her back. Make every excuse or tell her the truth. Let that be your lesson to learn how to say "no". I'm sure you boyfriend has friends that can pretend to be that relative. Get her smelly ass out.
ReplyDeleteMa'am you need to have a come to Jesus meeting with her and give her a deadline when she need to leave.
ReplyDelete