My Family is Jealous of Me

Dear WISY,

My family is one big bag of negativity.  When I was a little girl, my mother and her sisters and brothers fought each other like enemies.  I grew up being afraid of my family and eventually growing hatred towards them.  For some reason, my mother was always the loner.  She was always the one who they attacked as a group.  No matter how much the others fought each other, they would find common ground to attack my mother together.  I believe they hate her because my grandparents made it no secret that she was their favorite.  As a result, my cousins and I never had a good relationship.  I don’t feel like I have family, instead my friends have become what I believe family should be. 

The other day, my cousins jumped me and told me that my mom and I don’t deserve the things left for us in my grandparent’s will.  They want us to move out of the house we inherited and threatened to burn it down with us inside.  I went straight to the police and made a report but that has made things even worse.  My family is crazy and has no fear.  Going to the police has just fueled their fire.  I am afraid to leave my house and so is my mother.  She actually blames me for the intensified hate.

I really want to leave the area and get as far away as possible from these people but I don’t want to leave my mother to fend for herself.  I’m afraid she will give in to their demands without me there to support her.

What do I do?

Signed,

Is This Family?

WISY's Response:

Dear ITF,

Unfortunately, blood relation does not equate to loyalty, support or love.  When jealousy is present, blood doesn't do anything but provide easier access to you and your vulnerabilities.  I cannot imagine living the way you describe and I'm so sorry that you and your mom are going through such a tough time.

Going to the police was the best thing to do.  What was the result of that as far as legalities are concerned?  I hope justice was or will be served.  I'd get a lawyer to advise you and your mother on how to proceed as well.  Threatening to burn your house down with you in it shouldn't be taken lightly.  Treat it as serious as it is.  If your family has no fear or regard for the law then give them the opportunity to prove it by dealing out charges as you see fit.  I'm pretty sure that once the law comes knocking to haul them off to jail, they will change their tune.  And if not, who best to deal with them and their savage ways than the police?

It may be a good idea to move away for a bit.  You can rent your current home and give yourselves some peace of mind by not being in the middle of the war zone.  Maybe down the line you and your family can reconcile and hash out all the issues.  In the meantime, being able to choose who you call family is not such a bad thing.  All the best.

Walk good,

#Team WISY