Going Broke Trying to Look Rich

Dear WISY,

I feel silly sending this because I know better.  Let me give you a little background of who I am.  I'm 29 and I have a good job but not as good as my friends who have earned degrees.  I've managed to work myself up in my company but I've gone as far as I can without a formal education and my friends all seem to be making more money than I am.  The silly part is me giving the impression that I am also making the big money.  I bought a new car and I moved into a new building in the city just so I can keep up with what everyone else is doing.

All that spending above my means has left me broke.  I can barely pay rent and I damn sure can't pay my car note.  I considered taking the car back to the dealership and trading down but I am too ashamed and honestly I don't think I should have to skimp on luxury because I have worked so hard.  

I have recently sought out the companionship of my company's President.  He is married and everything but he has started taking me on all of his trips and he takes very good care of me when we're away.  I don't have to spend a dime, don't have to work and I stay in the best hotels and always in the penthouse suite.  I'm thinking about asking him to help me out with my bills but I'm not sure how to approach him about it.  I figure I am not sleeping with him so he may not want to help out.  What if he asks me to sleep with him in order to get the help?  Should I do it?  Do you think he'll look at me differently at work?  Should I care?  

Please help!  The first of the month is almost here!

Signed,
Keeping Up

WISY's Response:

Dear Keeping Up,

You must know that your situation is unnecessary and foolish.  At 29, you should not be concerned with keeping up with the Joneses.  Your sights should be set on working and building yourself at your own pace.  Everybody's journey is different, remember that.  If you feel such a strong need to impress your friends with material items, you should consider becoming friends with people who aren't as shallow.

I think trading down is the best option for you until you can afford the luxury you want and ask for a pay advance to get your rent paid on time.  Also, if you're going to be asking the President of your company for assistance, why not ask for a raise and some money to continue your education?  Keep it within the business arena and you won't have to worry about how you are perceived.  

I don't think you should put yourself in a position where you would feel obligated to have sex for financial gain.  Even though he hasn't made any sexual advances toward you, you must know that the man is taking you on these work-less trips because he expects some other type of work at some point.  Be mindful.

Refocus and reorganize your goals, prioritize and make it happen with dignity.

Walk good,
#TeamWISY


     

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