So I've been talking to this dude for a little while (measured in months) and he was going through a rough time at the very beginning financially. He never asked for money, but it is in my nature to help people. I think I fucked up by giving him money (not much, $15-30 here and there). I fucked up in that now he's comfortable asking for money, but I long made the silent decision to stop because he's working now.
My intention was basic humanity in helping another person. I wasn't trying to create a dynamic in which money was moving between us. After all, he's not my man "officially."
I feel like I'm at a fork in the road in that if I give him the money he asked for, I will probably lose interest because I would feel like I'm being used. But on the other hand, this is the precedent I set cause this is who I am in life and in a relationship.
Is there a line or a cut off to financial aid? Have I crossed it? Am I being used? What's the best course of action?
Regards,
The Dating Mother Theresa
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| Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay |
WISY's Response:
Dear TDMT,
Helping those in need is commendable, but in this case there should be a limit - especially when someone is able-bodied and can help themselves. I think it would be best to tell him that you no longer feel comfortable assisting him since he now has a source of income.
The fact that you can identify that you may feel used isn't a good sign. Your direction in this situation should be directly influenced by that.
Walk good,
#TeamWISY
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