Monday, March 4, 2019

I'm Being Abused

Dear WISY,

I really need someone to talk to.  I have been in a relationship with an abusive guy for about six months now.  I've known this guy my whole life, but we recently started dating after he expressed his feelings to me.  I've always heard rumors about him being abusive, but I had never seen it with my own eyes or heard it from any of the women he dated.  He was always so sweet and kind to me.  That was the last thing I would think of him doing.

We moved pretty quickly.  I let him move into my place and he did everything for me around the house.  He fixed things, he cleaned and cooked, and he bought me flowers.  I was so happy with him in the beginning.  He would always make comments about my friends not being a good influence on my life until I eventually stopped hanging out with them.

Now, he doesn't let me leave the house unless it's for work or to run errands.  I can't get my hair and nails done anymore because he said he's happy with me the way I am, so I must be trying to impress other men if I want to go to the beauty salon.  I have no say over what he does.  He goes out and stays out doing whatever he wants.  He comes home and then accuses me of talking to guys while he was out.  He asks to see my phone log and goes through my laundry.  He does this every single time.  Sometimes he hits me and sometimes he just curses me out.  He doesn't hit me to the point where people will see what he did.

I'm afraid of him, but I love him.  Am I crazy?  I never thought I would be the type of woman who allows a man to hit her.  I just want him to change.  He was so kind in the beginning.  What happened to him?

Signed,
Abused

WISY's Response:

Dear Abused,

It breaks my heart to know you're suffering like this.  You have to get out of this situation.  He manipulated you in the beginning to gain your trust and love to make it psychologically difficult for you to walk away.  He will never stop being abusive.  In fact, the abuse will get worse.  Love yourself enough to get out before something terrible happens.

Get on the phone with your family and/or friends who you know will not judge you or demean you for being involved with him.  You need to surround yourself with positive, healing energy to gain the magnitude of support needed to overcome this situation.  You should make a police report about the abuse also.  He doesn't deserve to be free to harm women as he pleases.

I suggest you begin professional therapy to heal from this and to diminish the chances of you getting involved in these types of relationships in the future.  Take good care of yourself, Love. 💖

Walk good,
#TeamWISY


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