Please help me out. I am reeling right now!
Ok, so we had Thanksgiving dinner this past Thursday and I love this time of year when family and friends get together to have a good time and reconnect. I was especially excited to see my favorite cousin. She was excited to bring her new boo and I was dying to meet him also. She didn't tell me who he was because she said she wanted to be sure that it was going to work out before she claimed him publicly. I understood that.
Anyway, Thanksgiving night arrived and I was impatiently waiting for her to get to the house. While I was waiting, I got a text message from her saying that she wants me to respect her relationship and not make a big deal over the guy because they are in love. My mouth has no filter so I thought she was just warning me not to do the usual. I really didn't think anything more about her text.
Anyway, the door opened and she walked in with the guy. I just about had a heart attack! This bitch walked in with my ex! Not an ex from years ago who I couldn't care less about, but my most recent ex! The guy she knew I would take back in a heartbeat! She knew I was still trying to get over our break up from earlier this year. She had the nerve to bring HIM to our family's dinner! The whole family was shocked!
She tried to explain herself, but the guy left out of the front door, obviously very uncomfortable and the bitch went running after him. We can see who she really cares about! Needless to say, Thanksgiving was a mess. I got drunk and sent hateful messages to the both of them.
I am HURT! I don't know how to recover from this. I loved the both of them and they hurt me like this. I have no appetite, and I just want to fight them! And now the bitch wants to talk. She's been calling and texting me non-stop apologizing and begging to talk. I don't know if I should talk to her after this. What should I do? I want to get over this whole thing like now!
Signed,
Betrayed Cousin
WISY's Advice:
Dear Betrayed Cousin,
WOW!! I'm sorry that what was supposed to be a joyous occasion turned out this way. That is indeed hurtful. I'd really like to know how your cousin thought introducing her new relationship in this manner was a good idea.
So, she obviously broke a couple unspoken codes, but in all reality, we can't stop people from doing what they want to do. Instead, you have to choose how you interact with people and choose the things you will and will not tolerate. I would advise you to approach the relationship with caution from now on. Also, I think you should talk with her and let her know how badly she hurt you. You are not obligated to rekindle the relationship, but I think it will help you to get it all out. This will remove the desire to physically harm her, and most important, it'll help you feel better. Try not to let anger overcome your conversation so that you are able to completely discharge your feelings towards her with her full understanding. Remember, you'll likely see her at family functions. The goal is to achieve civility between the two of you. Anything which comes after that will be dependent upon time, actions, and YOU.
As far as your ex is concerned, I get the feeling that he knew he would hurt you and was somewhat driven by that fact to become seriously involved with your cousin. I could be wrong, but that's the feeling I'm getting. Leave him to his own obvious misery. Don't fight him either. His little ego is probably severely bruised by the unwelcome reception at dinner.
Talk about it as much as you need to until you can laugh about it. It'll take time, but you'll be okay.
Walk good,
#TeamWISY
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