Deadbeat Dad

Dear WISY,

I want to change my kids' last name to mine because their dad is a deadbeat.  I don't think they should carry his name at all.  He claims he is always working and doesn't have time to get the kids every week.  He only comes to get them a couple times a month.  I know he's spending time with his new wife and step-kids instead of his own flesh and blood.  He prefers to take her ugly ass to shop and get manicures and pedicures.  What do you think about it?

Signed,
Pissed Mom

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WISY's Advice:

Dear PM,

I have two minds about this issue, but I'm leaning more toward allowing the father's name to remain, and I'll explain why. 

I believe a child should carry his/her father's name for the purposes of preserving family lineage.  It's important that family lines do not get mixed or lost for a number of reasons which include health, finances, and adult relations.  However, if a father is disinterested in his children's lives, he has seemingly excluded them from his family, and I understand that frustration and hurt from this would drive a mother to retaliate by removing his official ties from the children.  You do not fall into that category.  Stop it.

I don't think THIS situation warrants a name change.  He is in their lives, he may not be as much as you'd like, but he's there.  He says he's working.  Why don't you believe him?  What has happened that makes you think he's choosing his new wife and kids over yours?  I need a little more information to answer you completely, but from what I see here, you should not change their names.  If anything, I'm sensing a bit of jealousy towards his new wife (who he has a right to take shopping and pampering - c'mon now!).  Once you get over your feelings, I think you'll realize how silly you're being.  You have no idea what a deadbeat dad is.

Walk good,
#TeamWISY