He Won't Stop Talking To His Ex!

Dear WISY,

My boyfriend refuses to stop talking to his ex after I begged him to stop.  His ex used to call me and text me to harass me when I first started talking to my man. She was always trying to mess with me, and he knows the stress she caused us, but he refuses to stop talking to her. 

He said there's nothing going on and I have nothing to worry about, but then he went to their house for Sunday dinner and sat at the table with her mom and brother like they are all one big happy family. He left me and our daughter home alone on a Sunday to be with them. 

I was so angry with him and I started an argument.  He responded by leaving the house. Later, he told me he went to his ex's house clear his mind.  He said it's not really about her, but it's about her mom.  He said she's a second mom to him and no matter what he won't end the relationship with the mom.  That means he will still talk to and be around his ex.

Do you think I'm being unreasonable? Do you thing it's innocent and all because of the mom?

Signed,
Queen T
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WISY's Response:

Dear Queen T,

No, you're not being unreasonable.  His actions are speaking loud and clear:  he doesn't care about your feelings.  If he can leave you with your daughter to be with a girl (and her family) who treated you the way she did, then that tells me his concern doesn't lie with you.

When a relationship ends, it ends.  There's nothing wrong with being cordial, but having dinner with his ex and going to her house when he needs to "clear his mind" is unacceptable.  If he loves and respects you, there should have been no hesitation to cut his ex off after you expressed your disapproval of their communication, especially after the way she treated you.

Let's give him the benefit of the doubt for a second.  If it is in fact all about his ex's mom then it seems ex mom in-law has some motives of her own.  She probably is hoping that the time he spends over there will rekindle the flame between him and her daughter.  I see right through that situation, I think you do too.  He needs to snap out of whatever spell they have him under.

I suggest you speak with him some more about it.  This time when you talk to him, tell him he has to make a decision.  Prepare yourself for all possibilities.  But if he tries to have his cake and eat it too (which I think he will), then you should to tell him you need some time away from the situation to think.  Maybe your absence will effect him deeply, and he'll finally stop straddling the fence.

Walk good,
#TeamWISY

p.s.  If you're going to name yourself 'Queen T' then live up to the name.  Queens don't accept second place or disrespect. 👑👑👑