I Married for Money

Dear WISY,

I am writing because I’m frustrated with everyone around me saying that I am not a good person.  My friends have stopped talking to me because I decided that I would no longer be involved with a man unless he is wealthy.  I don’t see anything wrong with this and it doesn’t make me a bad person.  I believe it makes me a good person because I am thinking about my future and the future of my children.  I want to raise children who don’t have to suffer the way I did.

When I was young, my mother struggled to feed me and clothe me.  My father was handsome and she fell in love with him and had me but he didn’t do anything for us and she was stuck because she wasn’t using her head.  I wore the same clothes every day and I was bullied.  We were very poor.  Our house used to leak every time it rained and we always smelled old and moldy.  It was horrible.

Anyway, I married a wealthy man and he treats me well even though I don't love him.  I am in school getting an education and I am making sure that I will always be good even if I happen to divorce my husband.  I think that women should stop making it seem that it’s bad to marry for money.  I believe that we should be more concerned with the upbringing of our children and we should secure their future at all costs.  I am being selfless and there’s nothing wrong with that.

The downside of my choice has left me alone and feeling stranded.  I miss my family and friends and I have tried to include them in my life but they are all against what I did.  It makes me wonder if they don’t want to see my happy.  I haven’t committed a crime and I am not hurting anyone so what is the problem?  In your opinion, have I done something wrong?

Signed,

Married for Money

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WISY’s Response:

Dear MFM,

Your family and friends won’t speak to you anymore?  Are you leaving something out of your letter?  I can see them being disappointed that you didn’t marry someone you love but I don’t see them not speaking to you because of it, especially knowing your history and knowing that they could also benefit from your choice.

What you’ve chosen for your life is seen as deceitful and can also translate to having minimal self-respect but I completely understand your perspective and I know that it is understood by everyone whether they believe in marrying for reasons outside of love or not.  However, relationships are not black and white, there is a vast grey area which many of us fall into and it works out just fine.

I can understand that your childhood may have conditioned you to think the way you do but it seems you have gone from one extreme to the next with intense tunnel vision, missing the opportunity to experience a relationship which fulfills you in every aspect of your being.  Because you chose to marry solely on the basis of wealth, you will never know true love.  In my opinion, that is more sorrowful than a childhood of struggle.

I’m not sure that marrying for money will heal the damage from your childhood but I am glad that you have found a method to ensure you don’t return to those circumstances.  Hopefully, somewhere along your journey, you’ll find a way to connect with your family and friends because you'll soon find out that a rich life has nothing to do with wealth.

Walk good,

#TeamWISY