I need your help with my current situation. I am currently with a new guy (about a month now) and I am a freaky girl. I like to do things that are not acceptable where I am from. My ex guy got me hooked to all these new things when I went away to school and then we broke up when we graduated. Now, I am back home and seeing this new guy and he doesn't even like for us to talk about doing it. When he's ready he just mounts me and goes for a minute and then he is done. I am so tired of this. I need to do the things (not just freaky things) I have grown to like but because of our culture, I will not find a guy who would want to do this.
I am thinking of moving back to Europe so I can be free to do what I want. I do not have the money or the immigration status to do so on my own but I met a gentleman when I was away at school and we still communicate. He said he would be willing to sponsor my trip but I would have to marry him in return. I don't know if I can stand to marry such an ugly man but I think I can benefit from being back in Europe with him because he is wealthy. In my culture, we arrange marriage all the time so it would not be too bad.
If I can get there, I will figure out the rest. Do you think it's worth it to go back to Europe and leave my family here? I will support them well from there but leaving and staying away is not what we traditionally do.
Please send your advice for me.
Signed,
I want to be Free
Dear IWTBF,
I can understand that as we venture out into new environments, our previous norm can become a bit stifling. For that reason, I would say yes, absolutely go back to Europe and continue to broaden your horizons. What I won't encourage you to do is go back and marry this guy just for monetary gain and immigration status. There are other ways to make your way to Europe legally. Marrying someone you aren't attracted to or in love with is totally unacceptable and unnecessary. I find it funny that loveless marriage is okay for you but other aspects of your culture aren't.
You can begin to job hunt and if your credentials are impressive enough you may find a company that will sponsor you as long as you are employed with them. You could also save until you are able to sponsor yourself and make your way back. Who knows, maybe you'll reunite with your ex and continue your exploration with him.
In regards to your family, I'm a firm believer that you should always try to fulfill your heart's desires. This life is yours and you should live it how you see fit. Just be sure not to burn bridges that you may need to cross again in the future. If your family can gain from you living abroad then they may let customs fall by the wayside.
Think about it a little more and plan accordingly.
Walk good,
#TeamWISY
Ma'am you sound like an opportunist and a user whose motive is based exclusively on sexual proclivity. Do not ruin someone's life by marrying them for personal gain. Its WRONG. Just as you are so are other men in your culture who are closet freaks. But they're in the closet as are you. Sort yourself out, talk to your current boyfriend in an attempt to make things better, don't just run as that is a strong sign of immaturity on your part. If he cannot support your desire, find someone else with whom you can express yourself. Just don't pick up and go because you feel the grass is greener on the other side. The grass is green where you water it. Sort it out.
ReplyDeleteStop thinking with your vagina and use the brain you were given.
ReplyDelete