My Best Friend is Having My Man's Baby

This post contains adult content

Dear WISY,

I need your advice on my relationship with my boyfriend of almost a year.  Me and my man like freaky stuff and we sometimes invite people for threesomes.  Sometimes it's a girl and sometimes it's a guy.  Anyway, my best friend knows about everything I do with my man and I guess she got curious because she asked to have a threesome with us.  I was very surprised but I was open to it.  I thought it would be fun for everyone.  

I asked my man if he would want to do it and he said he wasn't sure about her because she is my best friend and he didn't want anything to happen that would make it uncomfortable for us to be around each other after it happened.  I assured him that there was nothing to worry about.  I told him this would probably be the best one we've ever had.  He said he would do it because I really wanted it.

I told her everything was a go and she came over the same night.  We had some drinks and started doing what we do.  I realized she was more into my man than into me so I stopped everything and asked her to come with me to the bathroom.  I told her that I wasn't used to the girls being so into my man and I was uncomfortable.  She apologized and said she thought that was what she was supposed to be doing.  She said she would stop and then started to kiss me.  I didn't like the kiss at all.  To be honest, I was turned off at that point and didn't want to continue but I played along and we went back into the bedroom.

My man asked me if I was alright and I lied and said I was good.  Things started heating up again but I just couldn't get into it.  So, I made the decision to let them have sex and just cater to my man.  I was whispering things in his ear and rubbing his spots.  They were both enjoying themselves and I just wanted it to be over so I said and did everything I know he loves to get him to climax.  He did and my best friend immediately started acting weird.

I asked her what was wrong and she said she wasn't on the pill (no, we didn't use protection, yes, I know that was stupid).  She started to freak out saying he should've told her he was about to bust so she could get off.  I told her it would be okay and that there were options and she said she doesn't believe in any of that stuff.  So, now I'm freaking out because she might just become my man's baby mama!

Fast forward to today and my nightmare has come true.  She is pregnant with my man's baby and she will not abort.  She said it would be fine and nothing would change but I'm so hurt.  His first child is supposed to be with me.  What am I going to tell everyone?  This is just too f*cked up for words.  I feel like I should leave but I don't want them to become the perfect little family.  I feel the need to be right in the middle of everything.  What should I do?

Signed,
Not The Baby Mama

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WISY's Response:

Dear NTBM,

I felt a grey hair grow in reading your letter.  I'm sorry to hear your fun turned into this. That's why certain lines should never be crossed, and in my opinion, the bff/bf activity is one of them.  Things almost always get awkward after something like this.  

You should have never continued if you felt uncomfortable.  That was a sign of things to come.  I feel like you all rushed into this situation and didn't properly discuss boundaries and expectations.  I know sh'es your best friend and you feel like you know her like the back of your hand but you didn't know her well enough to know she wasn't on birth control and that she would not sway with your beliefs in case of an oops moment.

What should you do?  I can't answer that.  You need to have a discussion with your boyfriend and best friend about the future and decide what you can handle.  Hey, it's almost 2017 and the face of the family varies; there is no definite image or idea of what a family should be.   Whatever you all decide, please try to keep your emotions in check and create a beautiful situation for this baby to be born into.

Just remember you convinced your boyfriend to do this after he had reservations.  If you stay, you should learn to consider his feelings.  If you had, you wouldn't be in this mess.  

Also, all three of you should get tested for STDs and stock up on condoms.

Walk good,
#TeamWISY

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