Trust Issues

Dear WISY, 

I have a problem with people.  I don't trust anyone at all and I don't want to be that way anymore.  

When I was a child my mother passed away and I went to live with my auntie and her husband.  My auntie was very nice to me before my mom's death but when I lived with her she was awful.  She beat me all the time, she made me do all the house work and sometimes the yard work too.  She cursed me and told me I was a burden on her.  I was so hurt because I loved my auntie so much and I couldn't understand why she was treating me like sh!t. 

Eventually, she threw me out of the house and told me to go live with my grandmother but my granny was very old and she didn't have the energy to care for me.  I became very bad.  I was out of control and did all the things I knew I shouldn't do.  Nobody was there to care.  I learned quickly that I could use my body to get what I want.  I had a very shapely physique.  I was having sex for money so I could eat and help granny with her house and stuff.  

A few years passed and people were beginning to know what I did for a living.  My auntie's husband came to look about me.  I thought he was coming to help me but instead he wanted to have sex with me and pay me too.  So, I slept with him for $500.00 because I told him he is a high risk.  He kept coming back and I kept giving him what he wanted until one day he came with my aunt who told me she knew what I was doing and she was going to beat me.  I thought she meant she knew about me and her hubby but she didn't know.  I was surprised to see her hubby criticizing me and condemning my behavior when he was my biggest client.  I couldn't believe it.  I am trying to figure out how people can be so awful.  First, the auntie I loved turned her back on me when my mother died and then her husband reveals that he is the biggest hypocrite.  

I will move out of granny's house and live on my own.  I have enough money to make it on my own.  I don't plan to continue this but it's the only sure thing for me right now.  I don't have any friends.  I don't trust family and I need someone in my corner.  I don't know how to get that.  What can I do to change this life?

Signed,
Trust Issues

WISY's Response:

Dear Trust Issues,

Wow, that's a lot to have to go through.  My condolences on the passing of your mother.  I can only imagine how hard it has been for you and I can honestly say, without condoning your sexual behavior, that I understand why you have become the person you are.

Our adolescent years are our most influential and you have had a great deal of dishonesty and hypocrisy from people who should have cared for you in your mother's absence.  It's no wonder that you don't trust anyone and don't place any value on respect for family or yourself.

The first thing you need to do is see a therapist.  You need someone who will listen to your problems and support your future in a positive way.  Together, you can decide a course of action for you.  You should also continue your education and learn a skill or trade which does not include the flaunting or selling of your body.  Get involved in an educational program where there are people with the same passion and goals as you.  You may find comfort and friendship in someone who can help you stay on the right path.

Needless to say, you should stop the prostitution.  One day, it may be the police coming to look about you and then you'll have an additional hurdle to get over.  Stop while you're ahead.  Trust will not come immediately but I'm hopeful that you can slowly begin to put your trust in those who genuinely have your best interest at heart.

Walk good,
#TeamWISY

P.S.  We can offer help with your situation if you need it.