Should I Wait for My Boyfriend?

Dear WISY,

My boyfriend was arrested and sentenced to jail time because of me.  I was sleeping with someone else and the other man began to get jealous of my boyfriend and eventually approached him and told him everything about our secret relationship.  

Now, my boyfriend is in jail because he beat the other man to a pulp.  He was taken to the hospital to recover and was held a few days.  I can't believe this happened.  I don't know why this guy would want to tell my boyfriend.  

Since my boyfriend has been in jail, the other man feels he should take over and become my bona fide man.  I don't know what to do because my boyfriend says he doesn't want me anymore.  I send him money for commissary and he accepts so I don't know if he's serious or not.

Do you think I should start dealing with the other man full time and forget about my boyfriend?  What if he really does come out and not want me?  The other man is good in bed but I don't really know much about him outside of that.  My boyfriend needs to understand that just because I cheated, doesn't mean I don't love him.

Signed,
Confused

WISY's Response:

Dear Confused,

"just because I cheated, doesn't mean I don't love him."  You are indeed confused.  Perhaps you thought you were in love but truly weren't.  When you love someone, there is no deceit.  The last thing you want to do is do something that would hurt the one you love.  So, you could not have truly loved your boyfriend.  

I'm sensing that bedroom issues may have caused the want to look elsewhere.  If you were unsatisfied, you should have communicated this with your boyfriend.  If things still didn't change, you should have left because it seems your sexual satisfaction plays a huge role in the success of your relationship.  There is nothing wrong with that but be honest about your needs and make the necessary steps to ensure both you and your boyfriend are on the same page when it comes to acts between the sheets.  If there is no agreement, then you should leave.

I think it's best you leave your (ex)boyfriend alone.  You have caused enough hurt for him.  You can move on with the guy you cheated with or someone else but make sure you are up front about what you need sexually so that you do not repeat this terrible situation or encounter something worse.

Walk good,

#TeamWISY