I Wish My Skin Was Darker

Dear WISY,

I've been living with this issue for most of my life.  I don't talk about it and most people that know me have no idea I have this issue.  It takes a lot of effort everyday for me to deal with it but it's necessary.  I read a letter on here a few weeks ago and thought of how foolish the woman was for wanting to be lighter.  I may be just as foolish because I want to become darker.

Please do not think I am strange for this but I wear make-up to appear darker than I really am.  I have a fair complexion and I wear dark foundation on my neck and face to appear darker.  I wear layers and layers of foundation, concealer and powder to give the illusion that I have a chocolate complexion.  I never wear clothing which reveals my arms and legs but I have been invited on a beach vacation with my close friends and I don't see how I am going to pull this off.  I have looked into spray tanning but that will wash off in no time and I know tanning beds are extremely dangerous for your skin.

I am petrified to allow my friends to see my real complexion.  When I was younger, I used to be angry at my parents for making me this way.  My mother is Asian and my father is mixed with Mexican and Portuguese.  I am very pale and don't feel as beautiful as my darker friends.

I need advice as to how I can deal with this.  I don't want to talk to anyone I know yet.  I need ideas to help me approach the situation.

Please don't judge!

Signed,
Fake Chocolate Girl

WISY's Response:

Dear Fake Chocolate,

I am glad you wrote in and have exposed us to another side of the skin alteration spectrum.  Just like people who choose to bleach their skin, you too have a degree of self hate.  I'm not sure of the environment in which you were raised but I know that the want to alter yourself usually stems from some sort of social influence.  Did you grow up in an area which was heavily populated by darker people?  Were you teased because of your complexion?  I would like to know what it was that triggered this desire for change within you.  You should think about it also.  Only then will you be able to make steps to escape this mental prison you are trapped in.

I would absolutely recommend revealing the truth to your friends.  If they are your true friends, you will undoubtedly have their support and understanding.  I'm sure you will feel an immense sense of relief once the truth is out.  The effort you are taking to mask your true self could be used toward something more constructive.

Let it go.  We are far too concerned with our outward appearances.  What we should seek from each other is genuine character.  Inner beauty is far more attractive than anything make-up can create.

Walk good,
#TeamWISY