I am writing because of my friend and her lack of responsibility. She is a very nice girl and she has good intentions but when it comes to prioritizing, she sucks. She would pay large amounts of money for a carnival costume instead of paying for something to benefit her children. When I ask her why she makes such decisions she tells me she feels like she has wasted a lot of time being pregnant and being forced to stay home to watch them (her children). One time she even told me that the kids have a whole lot of time ahead of them to make up for the stuff she didn't provide.
I don't know how to get through to this girl. She needs to realize that time and effort lost with her children is not going unnoticed by them. They will hate her for it as they grow. I just wish she could see the damage she's doing.
I need some advice as to how I can approach her about this without offending her.
Thanks.
Signed,
Children Over Costume
Motherhood is an absolute self sacrifice and you'll find that a lot of mothers go through a phase where they feel they have been confined to the walls of motherhood and feel the need to free themselves just to revisit their past selves for a bit. It's usually short lived and accompanied by some guilt though. However, this period should not include neglect of the children. Your friend is of a different mindset.
ReplyDeletePerhaps her issues are deeper than just feeling held back because of motherhood. It could be that she was neglected as a child or maybe she is now receiving the adult attention she craved before. Whatever it is, she has to get over it for the sake of the children.
Speak with her honestly about how you feel. Maybe ask her some questions to gain some background information about her life and make the connection with her present situation. Try not to come off too judgmental, keep a calm but stern tone and let her know you're truly concerned about her and her children. Hopefully she appreciates it and takes your words to heart.
Walk good,
#TeamWISY
PS - If the situation worsens (and I mean gets to the point where the children are in danger), I would alert the authorities. Hopefully, you won't have to go that route!
WISY you are right. i know a girl that acts this way like her children are a burden. Motherhood is not for everyone and to think there are women who wish to have kids and cant.
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