I'm Pregnant. Is it My Husband's or My Boyfriend's?

Dear WISY, 

I just found out that I'm pregnant and don't know if the father is my husband or my boyfriend. 

I have been to hell and back with my husband. He has another family with a woman he never stopped seeing. She didn't know we were married; she thought he was always gone away on business. She said she got suspicious when he stopped paying bills at their house. He has cheated on me with women at his job (and many more I'm sure), he is just never here for me and I ended up seeing someone else. 

My husband supports me 100% so it's been difficult to leave him...even after I found out about the other family. I don't think the baby is my husband's because we have been unable to conceive all this time. I knew I might get pregnant with my boyfriend but we never have protected sex. I do believe the baby is his because my husband and I never got pregnant before. 

I don't know what to do. I feel some shame and embarrassment. My boyfriend is no position to financially help me or this baby. I am afraid of my husband's anger too. I am so disappointed that I have met this situation. Please advise me. This was difficult for me to send, so no judgement. 

Signed,

I Don't Know

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WISY's Advice:

Dear IDK,

My goodness. This is an unfortunate situation and there's no easy way out of it.  I know people may say to wait it out and be silent about it until the baby is born, but I don't believe there is any more room for deception (or the possibility of it) in this relationship.  Plus, I just don't believe in toying with people's emotions when it comes to these situations.  Be upfront and face the music.  You should come clean about what's been going on.  

Before you reveal the news, you should build a circle of support to lean on.  Your husband, although he has carried on with his own deception, will probably feel betrayed.  He may retaliate by removing you from his home and cutting off the financial support.  I'm hoping you have family/friends who will stand by you and assist you until you can support yourself. 

Once the baby is born, get a paternity test to confirm your assumption.  In the future, practice honesty and integrity.  Be honest about your feelings in your relationship, do not stand for a sub par commitment just because you are being supported financially, and do not practice acts that will bring you shame and embarrassment.  

This may all be an overdue blessing in disguise.  I hope for the best possible outcome for you and your baby.

Walk good,
#TeamWISY