Confessions of a Fvck Boy

 Dear WIsy,

I'm confessing to a lot right now.  I want to clear my conscience before I move along to the next chapter of my life.

Since the age of fifteen, I have been unable to stay committed to one woman.  I hurt my high school sweetheart when I slept with her best friend, but she doesn't know that I was also sleeping with her older cousin (she taught me a lot).  I also slept with her half sister when I was in college a few years later.  We had broken up by then but it was still wrong for me to do.  Her half sister got pregnant by me too.  She did not keep the pregnancy.

When I graduated college, I became serious with a nice girl.  She took really good care of me.  She let me live with her even though I didn't have a job and couldn't contribute to the bills.  I knew she came from a wealthy family and I purposely manipulated her so that I could have somewhere to stay for a while.  She was pretty, so it wasn't so difficult for me to do.  She was just so boring.  I cheated on her almost every day.  She had a housekeeper who came to clean three times a week and I made the best of that situation. That woman was hot! She always wanted me and she started coming in on her days off for a quickie.  That lady was married with about four kids.  She was so sexy.  I couldn't resist.  My girlfriend didn't even notice that I stopped asking her for sex, but she broke up with me because her dad made her.  I wasn't good enough.

I went back home to my mother's house after that.  I got serious and got a really good job.  I stayed with her for about five years (I lived in the basement).  My mom thinks I can do no wrong.  She never complained about all the women who came in and out of her house.  I took full advantage until I slept with this crazy one and she trashed the yard and the house.  We had to call the cops and all of that.  She got locked up for a little bit and when she came out, I got back with her.  There was something about that crazy shit that excited me.  My mom was so upset that she told me I had to move out.  I moved out and continued the relationship with the crazy girl.  

Me and Crazy had threesomes and we participated in swinging.  I was with her for several years until she started wanting to slow things down and start a family.  I went along with the idea just so I didn't piss her off but I didn't want any type of family with this girl.  I pulled out each time or used condoms.  She was getting suspicious and we had a big fight.  I told her that I didn't want her no more and she threatened me with physical harm.  I had to get a restraining order.  I was also cheating on her with a girl from the gym.  She knew the girl too but for some reason she was off limits for threesomes.  I think that made me want the girl more.  I had to have the forbidden fruit.

Fast forward to me turning 30.  I started yoga and meditation mainly to seek out women but it turned out to be very helpful for me.  That led to me starting therapy.  I got diagnosed with a couple of things and unearthed some deep rooted trauma that caused a lot of my behavior.  I am not making any excuses for what I did.  I just truly want to apologize openly to women in general.  A lot of us men have some shit going on that we don't even understand.  So, sorry to all the women who did not deserve to be played with.

I'm about to marry the love of my life.  She knows about all of my history and she wanted me to reach out and apologize to each woman individually.  I will do that one day, but I'm not sure that I will be accepted by everyone.  I hope this will do for now.

Signed,

I Don't Wanna Be A Player No More

WIsy's Response:

Stay committed to your healing.

Walk good,

#TeamWIsy🌴