She Stole Clothes so He Did This to Her...

Dear WISY,

I need your advice, please.  I'm in a very weird and awkward situation with this guy who is making my life a living hell!  This is a long story but I will try to keep it as short as possible.

A few years ago I was in a store stealing clothes because I couldn't afford to buy the clothes the girls in my crew wore, and I wanted to keep up with them so I would steal.  Anyway, one day I was doing my usual thing; I went into the changing room and stuffed as many clothes in my backpack as possible.  Then I went to leave the store and the security guard stopped me and told me to come with him to the back.  He told me he saw everything I did and I should not make a scene.  I went with him to the back room.  Nobody was there but us, and he told me he would not call the police if I agreed to go on a date with him.  I agreed so quickly.  The last thing I wanted was for people to find out that I stole.

Anyway, I went on the date with him and he told me he liked me and wanted to know me better.  I was being very nice to him because I didn't want to get in trouble for stealing.  I did not like him at all.  He was old and had bald patches all over his head.  His teeth were horrible and he smelled weird.  I told him it was best we remain friends and he told me no, he needs more in order to stay quiet about the stealing.  So, because I was scared, I slept with this old, nasty man.  I felt like throwing up during the whole thing.  

Fast forward to now.  Guess what?  It's still happening.  I try to avoid his calls but he blows my phone up and leaves threatening messages.  I feel like I'm a prisoner to him.  I need to get away from him but I'm afraid he will tell.  What do I do?

Signed,
Living Hell

Recovering From Sex Abuse: Understanding Sex And The Ills Of Its Abuse (Sex Abuse, Sex Abuse Recovery, how to recover from sexual abuse)

Healing Answers From A Survivor: To Survive And Recover From Any Abuse Is A Healing That We Can All Achieve.

WISY's Advice:

Dear Living Hell,

I'm going to assume that you are really young because this man has successfully manipulated you in order to fulfill his dirty desires.  Your description of him had me squirming in my seat, wondering how you could allow something so unnecessary to carry on for so long.

First off, although you had the intention, you did not actually steal from the store.  I used to work in retail and I don't think you can be charged if the items never left the store.  The most that could happen is a lifetime ban from the establishment.  However, DO NOT QUOTE ME (see Disclaimer page) on this as I am no expert of the law, and laws vary in different jurisdictions.  Do your research.  

Even if you are charged, your offense is minuscule compared to the offenses that this man has committed against you.  He is blackmailing you which is ILLEGAL!  What he is doing to you is called sextortion and is a serious criminal offense!  He is also harassing you; another illegal act!  Plus, it would be interesting to know what his employers think of him using his job as a platform to score scared girls/women.  You have nothing to fear in this situation.  Report his ass to the authorities ASAP!  Please don't waste anymore time allowing this man to abuse you.

I really hope this incident has swayed you from stealing.  If you feel the need to steal clothes to remain in good company with your friends then you have the wrong friends, sweetheart.  But like I said before, I think you're young, and you have a lot to learn.  I really hope this situation works out for the best.

Walk good,
#TeamWISY